Overheard in my weight loss forum…

“Gross. I don’t come here to see big fat asses jiggling around,” pixie-of-a-girl said loudly to her friend at the gym, ensuring said fat-assed woman would hear.

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“Oh my god, I wish I could wear a shirt like that. I would never feel comfortable with my arms out like that,” said to me when I posted a post-workout photo in my favorite fun tank top. (Note: I didn’t take this as her suggesting anything was wrong with MY arms, but I was sad she felt so badly about her own.)

“I want to walk, but I don’t want the whole neighborhood to see me out walking because I’m embarrassed.” said by so many. Too many. swap out ‘walk’ for ‘gym’ and there are umpteen more.

These posts make me so sad. And angry. This morning I was jogging down Route 1a (aka Main Street), thinking about these posts, and then crafting this blog in my head. A social-worker-at-heart; I want to help everyone. I want to find out what the pixie girl has gone through to make her behave so cruelly. I want to force every fat chick in the world to wear cute, funny tank tops until they don’t give their arms a second thought. I want to teach people who are embarrassed to exercise to NOT GIVE A FUCK about what other people are thinking!

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ASSHOLES!

Pixiegirl McFatshamer’s life brought to a place where she thinks it’s ok, and maybe even FUNNY, to be nasty. Her behavior has NOTHING to do with you. She has a black spot in her heart that needs healing. That’s HER issue; NOT yours. Think about it this way… You own a company. Fatchick McWorkout and Pixie McFatshamer are applying for jobs. Who do you hire? Fatchick McWorkout and Pixie McFatshamer are standing in the Karma or Heaven or whateveryoubelieve line: Who is getting promoted or heavened or whatever?

It is not lost on me as I jog down 1A that some of the people driving past me are having nasty thoughts, laughing at me with their friends, or making snarky comments. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. It is also not lost on me that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, one person will see my fat ass jiggling along and my eyes black-and-blue because my “good jog bra” was in the wash today, and think, “Wow…. if she can do it, maybe I can too!” And that makes me happy ūüôā

Socialworkerish Sunday

 

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Jessi’s snapstory¬†today (Yes, I asked before posting!) was my inspo¬†to write since this has been on my mind too!

We all know social media is basically the devil, yet we all keep on comin.’ A year or so ago I attended a lecture discussing one of the dangers of social media being how we tailor our newsfeeds to match our beliefs. I struggle with this because I allow myself to get so worked up about some people’s posts because I genuinely cannot wrap my head around their statements! For example, someone recently posted that if I am ok with abortion, I also have to be ok with mass school shootings. WHAT EVEN IS THAT!!??? I ABSOLUTELY understand, and even respect, that some people have religious or moral beliefs against abortion. What I DON’T understand is the leap to drawing a parallel between the abortion and school shootings. In my head that is like saying, well if you eat peanut butter sandwiches, you obviously have sex with farm animals as well.

 

I have been listening to Oprah’s Supersoul Sunday podcast lately and there are a lot of discussions about cultivating happiness and peace within yourself. With these discussions in mind, I stopped listening to the news all the time. From there,¬†I went on to delete the Facebook app from my phone and reduce my time spent on Facebook. I’ve had limited success with this because I have no self-control, but I HAVE stopped posting things other than Instagram and Blog post shares.¬† And I went on a “hiding” spree.

But is that the right thing to do? Honestly, at this point I think I have more people “hidden” than not.¬† If I am surrounded only by people who agree with me, sure, I don’t get all pissed off every day and that’s healthy for me as an individual, but at the same time…. Conversations can’t happen if we all stay in our own lanes!¬† But… nobody is changing anyone’s mind about anything on a social media post. We aren’t there to have discussions and open minds. We are all there to grandstand and thump our chests in¬† proclamation my “rightness” over your “wrongness.”strauss-bird-flightless-bird-big-bird.jpg

I don’t know.¬† Stay on Facebook, see it all, and stay in-the-know about everything? Hide or unfriend all the people you don’t agree with and live like an ostrich with your head in a hole (Is that real? Do they really do that?) Quit social media completely (omg I can’t!)? All I know for a fact is that my husband, who also has strong feelings about topics and is glad to discuss them face-to-face, stays off Facebook for the most part and seems much more content. Of course, he is also an introvert……¬† but that is a WHOLE ‘NOTHER blog post!!

 

“Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid…”


“Die in a fire, faggot!” “Kill yourself!” I laugh with them as they read through the comments on their videos. ¬†Peppered into the laughter are statements of disregard for those who say these things. Disregard certainly painted on as armor; layer-by-layer, with each comment, each look of disgust, each rejection.

But why? How does Jeffree Starr’s pink hair and outrageous behavior affect someone’s sense-of-being so much that they want him to die? ¬†How does Manny MUA’s winged eyeliner and just-a-little-too-orange foundation make someone tell him to hang himself? I know people who think this way. Feel this way. I have disassociated myself from most of them, but the nature of my job as a crisis worker often puts me eye-to-eye with statements like those above. I have asked the question; Why? I have never gotten a real answer. “The bible says so!” “It’s not natural!” “It’s just creepy.” I take particular exception to those who wave the bible while spewing their bullshit. I {unfortunately-but that is a blog for another day} went to a Christian school and Sunday school for many years. I even went to church camp. I know what the bible says, and doesn’t¬†say. I also know those same people wave that bible, don’t live the teachings of the book. None of them are spewing their venom at divorced people, or people who didn’t wait until marriage for sex, or cheaters.

I believe everyone does everything for a reason. Why does one person just think, “Ok, too weird for me.” and change the channel, or pray for Jeffree Starr’s soul, while another takes the time to type something hateful, or even threatening? My opinion; anger is¬†their¬†armor. Armor built of fear of things that are weird or different, causing feelings of discomfort. “Fucking Faggot,” gets out that discomfort. Puts you on the offense. Quickly dismisses any actual consideration of that person as a fellow human with a life, a story. Quickly dismisses the possibility that maybe¬†you share similarities. Quickly dismisses your mind from wandering to places you fear.