Overheard in my weight loss forum…

“Gross. I don’t come here to see big fat asses jiggling around,” pixie-of-a-girl said loudly to her friend at the gym, ensuring said fat-assed woman would hear.

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“Oh my god, I wish I could wear a shirt like that. I would never feel comfortable with my arms out like that,” said to me when I posted a post-workout photo in my favorite fun tank top. (Note: I didn’t take this as her suggesting anything was wrong with MY arms, but I was sad she felt so badly about her own.)

“I want to walk, but I don’t want the whole neighborhood to see me out walking because I’m embarrassed.” said by so many. Too many. swap out ‘walk’ for ‘gym’ and there are umpteen more.

These posts make me so sad. And angry. This morning I was jogging down Route 1a (aka Main Street), thinking about these posts, and then crafting this blog in my head. A social-worker-at-heart; I want to help everyone. I want to find out what the pixie girl has gone through to make her behave so cruelly. I want to force every fat chick in the world to wear cute, funny tank tops until they don’t give their arms a second thought. I want to teach people who are embarrassed to exercise to NOT GIVE A FUCK about what other people are thinking!

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ASSHOLES!

Pixiegirl McFatshamer’s life brought to a place where she thinks it’s ok, and maybe even FUNNY, to be nasty. Her behavior has NOTHING to do with you. She has a black spot in her heart that needs healing. That’s HER issue; NOT yours. Think about it this way… You own a company. Fatchick McWorkout and Pixie McFatshamer are applying for jobs. Who do you hire? Fatchick McWorkout and Pixie McFatshamer are standing in the Karma or Heaven or whateveryoubelieve line: Who is getting promoted or heavened or whatever?

It is not lost on me as I jog down 1A that some of the people driving past me are having nasty thoughts, laughing at me with their friends, or making snarky comments. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. It is also not lost on me that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, one person will see my fat ass jiggling along and my eyes black-and-blue because my “good jog bra” was in the wash today, and think, “Wow…. if she can do it, maybe I can too!” And that makes me happy 🙂

App Battle: Lose it! vs myfitnesspal

screenshot_20180603-103349_lose it!7785084655072124771..jpgI’ve been using the “Lose it!” app for 6 days and as of this morning, I am back to myfitnesspal*. The Lose It (LI) app is SO CUTE! I LOVE the interface and it seems a little easier to add foods because there aren’t so many choices like in myfitnesspal (MFP) (For example, when you type ‘chicken thighs’ into MFP, you get about 456,402 options with calories ranging from 7 to 7294 :::a SMALL exaggeration:::).  BUT….

  • I got VERY sick of the ‘This is a premium feature so you should give us money if you want to do that!’ messages. For things even like adding food to the following day– which they call “Meal Planning,” which is a “premium feature.”
  • Lose it! claimed to sync with Google fitness (or whatever its called–should just be ‘big brother is watching everything you do’), but it didn’t.
  • Because I’ve used MFP for so many years, it knows me. Which is an unfair advantage, but still an advantage because all my favorite foods and exercises are already there.
  • I miss my friends!!  I do well with knowing others can see what I am doing and also just seeing that people I know are using the app too keeps me motivated.  Basically, everyone has tried myfitnesspal at some point, so even when their accounts are currently not in use, it still shows a buncha peeps on my list that could be watscreenshot_20180603-111049_chrome7952289790348164968.jpgching. And I like that.

Nutshell:

myfitnesspal wins because you get way more for way less aka FREE!

*Note: myfitnesspal is lowercase intentionally (see photo 😉  )

 

I CAN quit you!

Last November I read a book called “Never Binge Again: Reprogram Yourself to Think Like a Permanently Thin Person” that turned out to be life-changing (however, not as immediately and dramatically as the author claims it to be). After reading the book I added some foods to my “never eat again” list. This went against the old, “everything in moderation,” idea we’ve always been taught.

I never ate Sour Patch Kids or Reduced Fat Cheezits again. Those 2 foods joined fountain diet Pepsi, and my ex-husband, in the Historical Museum of Bad Past Relationships.

 

HOWEVER…. for many months, I cheated. My Reduced Fat Cheezits became Goldfish crackers or Cheddar Combos and my Sour Patch Kids became Skittles. I quikly became so known for skittles, my coworkers brought me them as treats and came to expect and look forward to my “leftover (disgusting) greens.”  It slowly dawned on me that I had not “quit” anything. I still was meeting my emotional needs with a cheesy crunchy snack and a sweet-sour chewy snack. So I stopped. I did so by proclaiming to myself, my coworkers (to turn down their generous candy gifts), and my family that I no longer ate skittles. There is literally NO GOOD REASON for me to ever eat Skittles. None. Think of one. I dare you (and “Cuz they’re gud” isn’t a reason. I’m sure cocaine is gud too).

So now Skittles have a cute little shelf in the museum.

Guess what!? I’m FINE! I miss NONE of the things I decided to stop eating.

I did make a choice not put Goldfish in the museum because, well, I don’t want to and I am the boss of my own self. Also because I have a propensity for motion-sickness when traveling and Goldfish are my cure. Sometimes I AM eating them for an emotional reason, usually work busy busy busy-ness.  The key is to know what I am doing and why. I’m not just ‘cookie-monstering’ my way through life, gobbling up my emotions like snickerdoodles.

Results? YES! I ‘ve lot more than 20 pounds! BUT, I attribute the weight loss more to using Myfitnesspal (diet AND exercise). The REAL results of embracing the philosophy were changes in my MIND and ATTITUDE. I really thought I *NEEDED* those things. My life is better because I am not a slave to cravings. Being on the Myfitnesspal program has been a CINCH this time around, and I completely credit my embracing the spirit of that book for paving the way to have success this time around. My BODY is not the problem, it’s my MIND that needed tweaking.

If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT. I have LITERALLY written blogs about my love of (and trying to quit ) fountain soda and how I felt like it helped identify me as a person LOL

If you are so inclined, you can read my blog post I wrote when I finished the book last year, by clicking here!

Back in the saddle again

Screenshot_20170925-141542Bro, I was KILLING it before my vacation with diet and exercise. I was exercising at least 5 days a week and had lost 10ish pounds using MyFitnesspal.  I had planned to keep on slaying the game while in Nashville. Hahahahaha, I love it when I am delusional! I DID exercise (once), and I did a LOT of walking, and a LOT of chores (since the whole point of the trip was to help my mom get some big stuff done around her house), but I also ate cupcakes, a giant bag of my beloved Trader Joes white cheddar corn puffs, ALL the saltines …and a whole lot more!

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If I could marry a food.

 

It’s SO HARD to get back “on it” when you fall off. After several “tomorrows,” Lonnie and I committed to Monday. <—no air quotes because it actually happened! It feels great to be back in control of myself. I need to remember this feeling next time I want to go off the rails. There is that stupid saying, “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels,” and while this is just the shittiest, judgemental,  dumb phrase… there is a hint of truth hidden in there as none of the stuff I have OVEReaten since returning home from vacation (note the “since returning home— I regret NOTHING I did while I was away on vacation!! Not even stopping at Krispy Kreme en route to the waffle house, LOL) tasted as good as it feels to have control over my mind and body.

So HEY! If you want to be “ON IT” with me… hit me up on My Fitness Pal. My username is colleenj74…. (shit… I should probably change that “j” out… Can I even do that??). I even keep my food diary public on there for FULL TRANSPARENCY!! Fair warning: I eat a LOT of marshmallows that I roast over the stovetop 😉

P.S. You CAN change your username ONCE, so my name is now Colleend74!

Trip Reflections

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Percy Priest Lake, Nashville (well technically this photo is Antioch)

See what I did there with the photo and title?   Fun fact: There is only ONE natural lake in all of Tennessee and all the rest, including this one,  are man-made! And either Mom or Chris told me that some of them were towns they just flooded over. So… like… are there houses down under the water?  That’s hella creepy.  Another fun fact: because I am me, thinking about houses under the water immediately led to thinking about mermaids and possible mermaid towns in the lakes of Tennessee.

Recon

This trip, like all of our trips, was part of our quest for future places to live when Sean graduates in 2020. This trip gave Nashville a very strong lead. We got to experience the “icky parts” of Nashville life, like heat/humidity and having your life revolve around traffic patterns and both felt that the benefits of having THINGS TO DO and PLACES TO EAT appear to outweigh the drawbacks. The cost-of-living seems about the same, possibly even a little less than here. It’s also nice to consider moving somewhere you already know people!

Confessions

  • I will probably get into country music if I move to Nashville. Dancing and singing and listening to music downtown was so fun that I forgot to hate country music for a few hours.
  • I think I want to become a Zumba or Dance Fitness instructor but struggle with that whole, “Girrrrrl…. you fat. How you gonna show me how to exercise?” thing. (I know that seems random, but I was thinking about it a lot in Nashville because there are no many more opportunities to do stuff down there, and also because there is SO MUCH MORE good food to eat and try that exercise will be even more important than ever…lol!)
  • 20170922_180232Piper (my 1yo german shepherd) is the devil. We knew she was naughty untrained, but I think we were in ‘bad pet owner denial,’ until our friends dog-sat her for us and she was a holy terror. She is a high-energy, uncoordinated, moose-in-a-china-shop of a dog and even before our trip, we’ve had some hard discussions as a family about possibly finding her a more appropriate home. After the trip, we had to face the truth about our little angel giant monster. BUT, we are not giving up on her. We are buckling down and making a commitment to improving her behavior by improving OUR behavior! WE CAN DO THIS! (I hope).

That’s about all I’ve got for today. I think I want to be a better blogger and blog shorter and more often. I think. Maybe.