Socialworkishsunday: Something Happened

As a crisis worker, I spend a LOT of time in emergency departments. Up until about a year ago, I think I witnessed ONE overdose coming in, and then something happened. These days, I usually don’t get through a work shift without an overdose coming in. Sometimes they die. Narcan isn’t made of magic. Overhearing these people dying (because even if they live through that overdose…. they are still dying) day in and day out really takes a toll on me. So many people with so much life yet to live. But something happened, and now their life belongs to drugs.
There have ALWAYS been drugs and there have ALWAYS been people addicted to them. Something happened and now we have an epidemic. WHAT HAPPENED!????
I see people post the most disgusting and heartless memes recommending we just let all the drug addicts kill themselves, suggesting Narcam shouldn’t be readily available, saying ‘it’s their choice to do drugs—it’s their problem,’ etc. What if is ISN’T their choice? Do you really think ANY 5 year old out there is spinning around with their arms spread out daydreaming about the first time they get their hands on some smack? Coloring at the table imagining their first night as a homeless person? Getting ready for an 8th grade dance thinking about how excited they are to grow up and trade their first blow job for an 8-ball? No. But SOMETHING HAPPENED, and the it’s starting to seem like drugs are just as likely a future as college for kids growing up right now.
It is SO. EASY. TO. JUDGE. But I PROMISE YOU that EVERY overdose I overhear was once just a ‘regular kid,’ with hopes, dreams, crayons, and swings. EVERY overdose I overhear is someone with family members JUST LIKE YOU about to hear the worst news of their life; That any hope they were holding is gone.
We need to figure out what happened and then work on fixing it. Judging, ignoring, alienating, demonizing and ‘not-my-probleming’ is just making things so much worse.

Let’s just make up already!

On Sunday I did what I do best… talked my bff into all kinds of stuff she “NEEDED” at Sephora 😀 And based on her snaps this week, my recommendations did not disappoint, so here’s WHAT YOU NEED AT SEPHORA (or… you know, where ever else you can get the stuff….)

Fenty Gloss Bomb. As suggested in it’s title, this stuff is the bomb. It is the perfect ‘barely there’ shade for literally ANYONE! It has the perfect amount of reflects (aka teensy glitter) that makes it sparkle–yet somehow not make look like you shop at Claire’s for your makeup. And it isn’t too sticky or gloppy. And it smells like fruity pebbles. I will definitely buy it again when I run out; and I have never done that before with a gloss so that’s saying something!

Anastasia Beverly Hills Soft Glam palette. Damn this palette is AH-MAY-ZING! It’s so versatile! You can get every day work looks, evening looks, super glam, barely there, and smoked out! Aforementioned BFF had looked at it when I first sang it’s praises to her last month, but thought it looked to dark so didn’t get it. Then… as we lunched at Applebees , I noted her staring lovingly into my eyes for an extended period of time until it got creepy…. “WHAT ARE YOU WEARING ON YOUR EYES!!!???” It was the Soft Glam palette, of course! (Note: If you already have the ABH Modern Renaissance palette, they are VERY similar– you probably don’t need both)

Ouai EVERYTHING! Ok, but specifically, Memory Mist (Which I am CERTAIN is made of magic), Rose Hair and Body Oil, and Wave Spray. If you want to just start with trying one thing, go with the Memory Mist. ….or the Wave Spray. ….or the oil. LOL

AND… Sephora has little ‘try me’ kits that contain at least 2 of the 3.

Here’s a video describing

how they all work.

Yes, it’s another Jamie Genevieve video. Yes I have a crush.

Metaphysical Friday

First off. Let’s pretend I didn’t just spend 15 minutes finding a title for this series. anyone? Alliteration anyone?

I had a great discussion with my bff today about dreams after listening to this week’s Oprah Supersoul Sunday podcast and thinking… ‘Shit. I’m not sure I HAVE dreams! What does that even mean!?’ (As in the ‘hopes and….’ – – not the nighttime ones. I have PLENTY of those!)

Our talk got cut a bit short because of stupid work and life, but I’m still a little hung up on the difference between dreams and ‘stuff I want to do someday.’ I think the ‘stuff I want to do someday’ list could be endless!

  • Swim around WILD dolphins (Don’t even get me started on those horrible ‘swim with a sad caged creature ‘experiences’)
  • Live in someplace other than Maine, and then maybe someplace other than that!
  • Travel to Europe, Thailand, the Philippines, India (maybe), Iceland, the Galapagos (will never happen), the Island where they filmed Jurassic Park (could happen but that boat ride is a DOOZY)
  • Slide down a hill in Switzerland on that little roller coaster thingy!
  • Be less fat
  • Squish grandbabies
  • Have a parrot (Also probably will never happen)
  • Have a Jeep Wrangler
  • Ride bitch with Lonnie on a Harley
  • Sit in those cool recliney seats in first class with the screen in-between so when I annoy Lonnie and his Sudoku too much with my chatter, he can close the screen on me 😀

… I said, that list could go on….. and on……..

Dreams seem like they should be BIGGER.

The only “dream” I could come up with is that I would like to write a book someday. This is why I blog. I love to write and cannot wrap my head around the giant task of a whole book. My blog is my half-assed book.

Then there are daydreams. Are those dreams? My most common one (the one I fall asleep to many nights) is Lonnie and I living on a small island as caretakers of a small resort or estate. Catching fish with spears and digging for shellfish to catch our dinner to cook with stuff from our garden 🙂 No internet. Naps in hammocks. Occasional trips to civilization for supplies. :::::sigh:::::

My favorite shit right now.

img_20180328_141238_5993671936874906902122.jpgI posted a pic on Instagram the other day yesterday touting the awesomeness of Ouai Wave Spray. I swear that shit is made of magic! I thought it’d be fun to write a post about ALL my favorite products! It’s also kinda fun to look back at these posts and see if any of my favs have stood the test of time. I found a couple photos I took probably 10 years ago for a blog post, or maybe even a scrapbook page, of Lemon Diet Pepsi (I don’t even drink soda anymore– and I don’t think this even EXISTS anymore!), The Cats Pajamas lotion (No clue when I stopped using that), Dove soap (Nope), and Cinnamon Crest toothpaste (STILL MY FAV!).wp-1522585490343662325706513066498.jpg

When I was in Nashville last spring, my brother took me to the boujee mall in Green Hills and I went into a Kiehl’s store because one of my favorite Youtubers, Jamie Genevieve,  talk about Kiehl’s all the time. I picked up a starter kit that came with lotsa great stuff that turned my skin into a freakin’ baby’s butt! The salesperson was SO nice too and gave me a TON of samples, including a tiny bottle of Daily Reviving Concentrate, “a lightweight facial oil that keeps skin looking radiant all day.”  IT QUICKLY outpaced the other stuff as a “can’t live without.” It has a hint of citrusy smell that is just a lovely way to start the day.  My skin is DEWY and SOFT AF ALL DAY LONG!! It’s my freaking jam.Warning: It ain’t cheap, but you only use 3-4 drops a day, so even the small sized bottle lasts me about 6 months. Lonnie has jumped onto the Kiehl’s wagon since they have a great men’s line too, and his skin looks great!

I use it’s sister, Nighttime Recovery, too, but if I had to choose one, it woud be this one!

Jergens Wet Skin Moisturizer: Honestly, It was weird at first slathering lotion onto my wet self, but once I got over it (ok… lying a bit, I am still not over it, it’s a weird feeling), I was HOOKED on super soft skin that lasts all day! I ALWAYS get extremely dry skin in the winter despite using every lotion I could try, but this year, I DIDN’T 

for the first time in my LIFE! I alternate between the regular and the one that adds a little kiss of tan.20180401_0816278722384857081596609.jpg

So those are the “biggies,” but I gotta throw in some honorable mentions…

Milk Cooling Water stick. I keep it in the fridge. Every morning I grab my Cashew Almond Milk (also deserving of a mention!), swipe my Cooling Water under my eyes and let it do it’s thing while I sip my coffee. It’s SO extra, and makes me start the day feelin’ fancy 😉

20180401_0815247082522353896638641.jpgSPEAKING OF COFFEE!!!  COFFEE!!  I recently learned to like hot coffee and my mornings are just delightful these days. Sipping my coffee with lots of cashew-almond milk (no sugar), while watching a couple Youtube videos is the perfect ease-in to every day 🙂

Also speaking of coffee. My heart was broken (ok… that’s dramatic) this week. When Lonnie and I were away, a little coffee shop in Old Orchard Beach had Green Mountain Island Coconut coffee and it was DEEEE-LICIOUS. I NEED IT IN MY DAILY LIFE!  ……..and I can’t have it. Apparently, it was a limited-edition release. I’ve searched everywhere to no avail 😦  

UPDATE!!  I found it in K-cups– I don’t have a Kuerig, but I ordered a pack anyway (LOL)!

I think I’ve rambled long enough!  Gonna have to save makeup for another post!  Here’s a little Jamie video because why not?


Socialworkerish Sunday


Jessi’s snapstory today (Yes, I asked before posting!) was my inspo to write since this has been on my mind too!

We all know social media is basically the devil, yet we all keep on comin.’ A year or so ago I attended a lecture discussing one of the dangers of social media being how we tailor our newsfeeds to match our beliefs. I struggle with this because I allow myself to get so worked up about some people’s posts because I genuinely cannot wrap my head around their statements! For example, someone recently posted that if I am ok with abortion, I also have to be ok with mass school shootings. WHAT EVEN IS THAT!!??? I ABSOLUTELY understand, and even respect, that some people have religious or moral beliefs against abortion. What I DON’T understand is the leap to drawing a parallel between the abortion and school shootings. In my head that is like saying, well if you eat peanut butter sandwiches, you obviously have sex with farm animals as well.


I have been listening to Oprah’s Supersoul Sunday podcast lately and there are a lot of discussions about cultivating happiness and peace within yourself. With these discussions in mind, I stopped listening to the news all the time. From there, I went on to delete the Facebook app from my phone and reduce my time spent on Facebook. I’ve had limited success with this because I have no self-control, but I HAVE stopped posting things other than Instagram and Blog post shares.  And I went on a “hiding” spree.

But is that the right thing to do? Honestly, at this point I think I have more people “hidden” than not.  If I am surrounded only by people who agree with me, sure, I don’t get all pissed off every day and that’s healthy for me as an individual, but at the same time…. Conversations can’t happen if we all stay in our own lanes!  But… nobody is changing anyone’s mind about anything on a social media post. We aren’t there to have discussions and open minds. We are all there to grandstand and thump our chests in  proclamation my “rightness” over your “wrongness.”strauss-bird-flightless-bird-big-bird.jpg

I don’t know.  Stay on Facebook, see it all, and stay in-the-know about everything? Hide or unfriend all the people you don’t agree with and live like an ostrich with your head in a hole (Is that real? Do they really do that?) Quit social media completely (omg I can’t!)? All I know for a fact is that my husband, who also has strong feelings about topics and is glad to discuss them face-to-face, stays off Facebook for the most part and seems much more content. Of course, he is also an introvert……  but that is a WHOLE ‘NOTHER blog post!!


Wednesday Wonderings : Parenting- The good. The bad. And the step.

Lonnie and I did lots of driving and talking over our long weekend getaway. One of our topics was parenting. We started by musing about “good parents” and “bad parents” and how people who achieve the most success in life so often seem to come from bad childhoods. It almost seems like hands-off parents (for whatever reason…self-involved, substance use, emotional issues, hyper career-focused, etc.) build children with greater resiliency and ability to overcome adversity. So what does that mean!? We didn’t figure it out.


LOL, He’s actually just focused on driving, but if the pic fits…….


We discuss parenting a lot. Probably because we have never, and will never, raise a baby of our own and therefore never worked through the trials and tribulations of co-parenting as equals. I think equality is the main difference between step-parenting and raising a child together as biological or adoptive parents. No matter what your “arrangement” is, or what you PRETEND it is, one of you is “the real parent” who holds the power. It’s a rare person who can come into that scenario and put their ego aside for the greater good of the family. Lonnie comes very, very close. And I work hard to make sure he knows I value his input and opinion when it comes to decisions about the kids. BUT, while it is never really said out loud, we both know at the end of the day, they are my and my ex’s kids and we have all the decision power. Because Lonnie and I are humans, that does cause us some “issues” (pronounced isss-YOUsssss) from time-to-time.

I am fairly certain I would suck as a step-parent and when I divorced, I vowed not to enter into a step-parenting situation. It would be so hard to have no true parenting power coupled with the awareness that everyone involved, including the kids, knows it. There is no built-in bond like there is between a parent and child; so that bond has to be painstakingly cultivated while at the same time establishing a sense of order in the home.  Not everyone is willing, or able, to create that tenuous balance. In fact, I would even bet MOST people aren’t able to make it happen because there are so many emotions and factors at play. There’s a reason “You’re not my dad!” has legendary meme status!

So, what is the answer to harmonious step-parenting? Well, we DID figure this one out!! There is no answer because there is NO SUCH THING! Humans are built to interact and have conflicts and “issues” and power struggles and trials and tribulations and “discussions” and ARGUMENTS! AND ALL of these seemingly negative interactions are actually positive because they are how we learn from each other to grow as people and enrich our relationships.

Have you mastered step-parenting? Failed epically? Kinda-sorta got the hang of it? Think I am way off base with anything here? I love a good discussion… argument… power struggle….



As I do not have a selfie of “44 years old.” please instead enjoy this snap Sean sent me while I was away LOL

EMBRACING 44 –Let’s start with the fact that today is my birthday.  I woke up feeling like 44 feels much different than 43. It’s so much closer to 45, which seems like basically 50. But as with most things, I am (mostly) blessed with the ability to embrace change rather quickly. This morning I woke up and forced myself back to sleep thinking a crippling depression in my now old age may be fun. An hour later I woke up again and for about 5 minutes continued to wallow in the sorrow of being elderly before getting bored and up and at ’em, sneakers laced up, and back to working out after 2 weeks of slackery!


Screenshot 2018-03-19 at 5.59.54 PM

EMBRACING RUINED PLANS — Last week we had to cancel our yearly trip to Mexico for numerous reasons (drug cartels, ferry bombings, the US govt warning against travel to playa due to a ‘credible threat’), but the nail in the coffin was a blizzard canceling our flight 2 days in a row.  So in typical Colleen style, the day we ended up canceling due to the flight issues, I took an extra long mopey-sulky nap, woke up, and embraced it by taking control of the situation, canceling the trip and planning a new one!


While appreciating this photo, consider the time taken to ensure full bubble coverage.

EMBRACING THE TRASH WE ARE —  If going to Whole Foods and stocking up on wine, craft beer, cheese, crackers, & macarons and then spending a couple days mostly locked up in a steamy motel room eating, reading, and watching Law & Order and Modern Family reruns, while in a hot-tub full of bubbles and lush bombs appeals to you, have I got the place for you!! Our new trip was to a motel we have been to several times on Old Orchard Beach. It’s a clean, family-run place we love because it’s right on the beach, there is a jetted tub for two RIGHT IN THE ROOM by the bed, and in the winter they offer a buy-2-nights-and-get-one-free deal. It’s kinda trashy while trying to be classy and WE LOVE IT BECAUSE SO ARE WE!!! It’s called the Seacliff Motel and we highly recommend— unless you are Mr. or Mrs. Fancy-schmancy Pants.


On the drive down…….

Me: “OMG HONEY!!  On the way there, I want to stop at TJs and get some margarita glasses and we can make margaritas and I can take a super cute Instagram pic and be all, ‘Heyyyyy….. Margs on the beach, y’all'”

Him: “Ok. You want me to swim with one too?”

2 hours later…..  IMG_20180315_182339_160.jpg

A perfect illustration of my life…. Super cute big plans. Mediocre follow through, AND I EMBRACE THAT!