I read an article…

Did you know dogs get really smelly and are just plain gross and annoying when they are in heat? I didn’t. But then I read a couple articles, decided to wait until Piper was at least year old to have her spayed, and now I know.  Oh, oh, do I know….

20170408_181826

The sentence, “I read an article,” is the bane of existence for myself and all who know me.

I’ll tell ya right now though…. if this dog ever gets cancer or any of the other ailments I am supposedly helping her avoid by letting this happen… Shit is goin’ DOWN!!  I’ll be writing my OWN article called, “DON’T DO IT! IT’S NOT WORH IT!”

“Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid…”


“Die in a fire, faggot!” “Kill yourself!” I laugh with them as they read through the comments on their videos.  Peppered into the laughter are statements of disregard for those who say these things. Disregard certainly painted on as armor; layer-by-layer, with each comment, each look of disgust, each rejection.

But why? How does Jeffree Starr’s pink hair and outrageous behavior affect someone’s sense-of-being so much that they want him to die?  How does Manny MUA’s winged eyeliner and just-a-little-too-orange foundation make someone tell him to hang himself? I know people who think this way. Feel this way. I have disassociated myself from most of them, but the nature of my job as a crisis worker often puts me eye-to-eye with statements like those above. I have asked the question; Why? I have never gotten a real answer. “The bible says so!” “It’s not natural!” “It’s just creepy.” I take particular exception to those who wave the bible while spewing their bullshit. I {unfortunately-but that is a blog for another day} went to a Christian school and Sunday school for many years. I even went to church camp. I know what the bible says, and doesn’t say. I also know those same people wave that bible, don’t live the teachings of the book. None of them are spewing their venom at divorced people, or people who didn’t wait until marriage for sex, or cheaters.

I believe everyone does everything for a reason. Why does one person just think, “Ok, too weird for me.” and change the channel, or pray for Jeffree Starr’s soul, while another takes the time to type something hateful, or even threatening? My opinion; anger is their armor. Armor built of fear of things that are weird or different, causing feelings of discomfort. “Fucking Faggot,” gets out that discomfort. Puts you on the offense. Quickly dismisses any actual consideration of that person as a fellow human with a life, a story. Quickly dismisses the possibility that maybe you share similarities. Quickly dismisses your mind from wandering to places you fear.

 

Listen!!

Dear Diary, It has been 7 days since I last listened to Dr. Laura. I went as far as to let my Sirius Radio subscription lapse, just to get off the sauce 😉 While I am starting to feel cleansed of bitchy, judgmental, righteousness, I miss the chatter, the conversation, the stories of the people who call! My lifestyle and job leave me with a LOT of listening time as I am aLONE aLOT, but busy doing things.  I’ve tried a few podcasts and nothing hooked me in.

Before I was big non-book-reading loser, I used to read books …ALL THE TIME! Then for some reason, I couldn’t anymore. I just can’t sit and focus and read without my mind wandering. Magazines? yes. Articles? HELL YES…. ALL DAMN DAY! But books…. No.  And these days I have to read so much stuff for school, I don’t even want to THINK about reading.Screenshot_20170411-102955

The other day I was watching a makeup video and she was talking about her love of audible, so I thought I’d give it a try.  (Ok, ANOTHER try, I’ve tried listening to books before and that whole mind wandering thing resulted in me spending more time rewinding to try to find where I stopped listening.)

Long story long….

I am currently listening to The Handmaid’s Tale which is RIGHT UP MY ALLEY!!  I loooooooove me some post-apocalyptic/dystopian society shit! (If you have read this already, you see the irony that I left Dr Laura and jumped into this….) I LOVE THIS!!! I can listen in the car… and anywhere in my house, I can just say, “Alexa, open the Handmaid’s Tale,” and off we go!

I haven’t yet decided if I will keep Audible after the free trial, we are TRYING to have LESS 14.95, 9.99, 12.95/per month things and it seems like every time we get rid of one, we add another. AND THAT’S HOW THEY GET YA!!!!

But… I mean…. I DID cancel my Sirius Radio.…. 😉

Travel Journal: Playa del Carmen. Again :)

moments_c9562aa5-a84b-4204-aa26-718e14e2005d_orig_res.jpgwp-1490135081982.jpgwp-1490135022225.jpgwp-1490135061720.jpgOK, So SOME stuff that happened in Mexico will stay in Mexico…… BUT….

This most recent trip to Playa had it all! Dancing, swimming, sunshine, sea turtles, tequila, shopping, parasailing, eating…… We had an eclectic group of people who mostly didn’t know each other and had a wide array of interests, but it worked!  Only in a place like Playa where you can walk, ferry or cab, to basically anything you could every want to do would this work so well. Everyone pretty much did their thing, and all came together from time-to-time to do stuff. No pressure. No drama. Lonnie pointed out that he was the mom of the trip, and I was the “cool dad.” So basically just like home 😉

Of course, with all that fun, we had to have a some not-fun. That part came Monday night when all the flight cancellations started rolling in to everyone’s phones and we learned that we would not be leaving Tuesday morning as planned, and not Wednesday either. and MAYBE Thursday. And we would be homeless. And also broke since we just lived it up on vacation 😉 So we had to find a cheap place to stay for a couple days.  It was…um…. interesting?  You can read my review if you want to on Tripadvisor   OK, but be ready for some challenges  I will say, the “Talking Spanish Translator App” was AMAZING and hugely helpful. I can usually get by pretty well with my very limited Spanish, but when I’m are trying to ask, “How will we get our $100 deposit back at 330am tomorrow when we leave since there is never anyone at the front desk?” I need to make extra sure nothing is lost in translation 😉

I am HUGELY BIGLY proud of my husband and kids though, and myself! We made the best of our unexpected extra days without lots of cash to throw around. Everyone stayed as positive as possible, and the last day, we actually had an awesome day of a little Mexican food, one last stop at our fav French Patisserie, and a little sunset photo shoot on the beach! A PERFECT way to end our trip and prepare for the grueling 3am-midnight day of travel ahead……..

Winter. (OK… This is mostly really about makeup LOL)

How cool are these little towels my aunt makes!?

As with every winter, even this mild one, I have faced my winter doldrums. My added schoolwork load just makes me even more whiney and blahhhhhhhh. Usually, our yearly winter getaway trip keeps me from just spending the winter under my comforter, but this year (thanks to Jessi),  I ALSO have my new makeup obsession as well.  I am having SO Much FUN playing with makeup every day, buying new stuff, and watching youtube and instagram videos. Even on days I don’t have to go anywhere, I find myself excited to shower and get dressed and sit at our vanity to play.  LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

Obsessed. Yup.

 

Some of my favorite stuff right now…

Tartiest Pro Palette

Tarte Maneater mini palette

IT Cosmetics bye bye pores pressed powder (dude. This shit is made of magic.)

Tarte Lights Camera Splashes mascara (super natural looking and waterproof – – which is good when you are a crisis worker sometimes!)

Too Faced Better Than Sex Waterproof mascara – – more glam, almost looks like falsies. (I save this one for going out and about ;-))

And some of my favorite YouTube makeup peeps….

https://www.youtube.com/user/lustrelux

https://www.youtube.com/user/jamiegenevieve

https://www.youtube.com/user/MannyMua733

https://www.youtube.com/user/jeffreestar

https://www.youtube.com/user/hailiebarber

https://www.youtube.com/user/melraemusic

And when I feel like keeping it real and not pretending I am 20….  lol

https://www.youtube.com/user/HotandFlashy
My always-contagious enthusiasm even spread to by BFF and we spent an awesome day just hanging out at my place playing with makeup and watching youtube videos of other people playing with makeup!  It was absolutely wonderful.  We used to spend SO MUCH TIME together, but our lives have changed so much over the years, we have to really make an effort to get that time together!

Buddies since birth!

 

P.S.

Stick a pin in 2 more classes done towards my MSW, AND still rockin’ that 4.0, baby! Just started two more on Monday, which means I will have to do HOMEWORK while we are away on VACATION!!  BOO!!!

 

 

Nissan Pathfinders: JUST SAY NO

 

20150124_093122
Men don’t have intuition

January 24th 2015 I had a MAJOR “Woman’s intuition moment,” that I didn’t listen to. That was the day we bought the Pathfinder, and for no reason at all, and despite us both having always wanted one since high school, I had a bad, bad feeling.

Not even 2 years and about $3000 dollars later, we waved goodbye to the car from hell.  There are not enough swear words in the urban dictionary to express what we went through with that thing. Not to mention the umpteen times our mechanic said, “I told you…. I am a certified Nissan technician and I would NEVER own a Nissan.” So when the engine started getting louder and louder last week (in addition to some 4wd issue we were avoiding fixing), that was the last straw.  I believe the text I sent to Lonnie said, “Well, I guess take it back over to the shop and I’ll pick you up.”  Followed immediately by, “NO.  FUCK THAT.  Drive it to Darlings.  Don’t care what we have to do or what we get in trade in for it. Fucking done.”

Then I went online to start researching cars and found carcomplaints.com.  And this….wp-1484166536709.jpgThis website certainly was there when we bought the stupid Nissan, and didn’t behave like informed consumers.  Live and learn.  Lesson learned.  I learned when I bought my Escape to keep my eye on the bottom line because car salesman are tricky, and I learned from this Pathfinder to RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH before buying.

The Pathfinder BARELY made to the dealership.  No clue what the problem was this time, I couldn’t care less because that piece of shit is GONE GONE GONE.  We got a great deal on a 2014 Toyota Rav 4 that has great reviews, and a better track record of reliability.  While I am not thrilled about the higher car payment, the peace-of-mind of not exploding on the highway is well worth it!

 

This week’s lesson

“The only behavior we can control is our own. No one can make us do anything we do not want to do, as long as we are willing to endure the consequences (i.e., punishment for not doing what others want us to do). If we choose to do what others want us to do under the threat of severe punishment, we tend to be passive-aggressive by not performing well. When we try to force others to do what they do not want to do, they may choose not to do it—or choose to also be passive-aggressive by not performing well (Glasser, 1998).”

So there you go. Today I wrote a paper on “Glasser’s choice theory of explanation of human behavior.”  And true to “Colleen behavior,” said paper was due yesterday. See above quote for the reason.  Deadlines. Due dates. Forced reading of shit I don’t want to read. (Ok, that’s not entirely true, most of the stuff I am studying gets me all wound up and ready to throw on my Social Worker Superhero Cape!) Sometimes it gets to me, especially when life gets busy, or I get the stupid flu.  Fortunately, also true to “Colleen behavior,” I always pull it off in the end and somehow have maintained a 4.o.

When researching grad school, I had a choice between brick-and-mortar, or online. I chose online for the flexible schedule and the promise of enhancing my writing skills.  While I absolutely do not regret it, I DO think I made things much more difficult… ok “CHALLENGING,” for myself. Rather than classroom lectures and discussions, it’s reading scholarly journal articles, textbooks, and periodicals, and then formulating a “discussion post,” (in APA format, of course!), and then responding (in APA format, of course!) to other’s “discussion posts” with more reading and research.  So instead of classwork, reading, and maybe writing one or 2 papers a week, it’s basically writing 6-10 papers a week.

It’s all good, though.  It’s tough, sometimes almost insurmountably tough, but it’s wo20161218_154238rth it.  I can already see the difference in my writing from the first class and today.  I have changed my point-of-view on SO. MANY. THINGS. and I LOVE THAT!

Full Disclosure: I had two papers due yesterday and totally made the choice to blow them both off in favor of spending the day with my husband eating grilled cheese sandwiches, drinking, making cookies, watching football, and taking selfies with my puppy. A choice I paid dearly for at 6am this morning. #worthit