|Weekly coffee selfie… new diningroom location!
It was a long day but I made it through. Lonnie and I both came close to giving in when Sean came home with so, so much candy and was like a crack dealer trying to share it with us. But we stood strong. I kept thinking, “Well it’s not like I am not going to have sugar at some point, why not on a holiday?” and wondering if perhaps this torturing myself was just hollowing out a hole in my brain and I am eventually just going to go batshit crazy and EAT ALL THE THINGS to attempt to fill it up. the funny thing is, at one point Lonnie said, “Just go ahead, pick like 4 pieces and keep it to that.”
- :::insert spoiled voice::: I don’t WANT 4 stupid pieces. I want 104.
- I couldn’t even think of which 4 I would choose, honestly, none of them appealed to me– which told me that it wasn’t really the candy itself that I wanted, it was Veruca (that spoiled little girl!), being told no and throwing a tantrum.
- :::alert–this is the twisted one::: I spend a good part of the day bitching and pouting and threatening to eat the candy to Lonnie. It wasn’t til the evening when he caught on to my shenanigans, had had enough, and finally said, “Go ahead. Eat whatever you want, but I am not going to.” The wanting was instantly gone because I wasn’t getting the negative attention from him anymore.
IT’S NOT ABOUT THE FOOD!!
As I filled many little fake plastic eggs for my way-too-old-for-this children (one of which is 20), it was not lost on me that perhaps since I know that sugar is poison and really has no place in a healthy lifestyle, that I should not feed copious amounts of it to my kids on holidays. Particularly since my son definitely has a penchant to overdo. We recently stopped buying cereal after numerous warnings to him about the 1/4-1/2 cup of sugar we kept catching him adding to it. I have no illusions that at 14 years old, I am going to convince him to not eat sugar all the time. But I CAN control what he eats at home with us!
As I filled many little fake plastic eggs for my way-too-old-for-this children (one of which is 20), I had SEVERAL moments of weakness. The first of which was at Target when I was going to get the kids Peeps for their baskets with the sole purpose of my getting to eat some. The Peeps stayed in the cart for about 3 minutes and then went back on the shelf. This shit is not easy. My brain is a battlefield of;
“Maybe just a few pieces…”
“Maybe we should just take the weekend off and start back on Monday….”
“Wow, some of those m&ms in the microwave would be just perfect……”
I did not give in to the spoiled little girl inside that wants what she wants when she wants it!!! And I won’t today either.
And WHY not? Because I FEEL GOOD DAMNIT and I want to KEEP feeling good!