21 Day challenge- I does it.

Well “does it” may be stretching it.  I just started yesterday.

One of my coworkers, Cathy,  became a beachbody coach and started this little facebook group/challenge and I was like. “HELL YEAH I AM IN!”  (ok, I was more like, “oooh wouldn’t it be great if I actually followed through with this, but we all know I probably won’t”)

I work noon to midnight on Mondays and Tuesdays.  I actually chose that shift on purpose with the daydream of “Oooh… I’ll get up and exercise before work, and get stuff done, and it will just be sunshine and roses every day!!!”  Day 1 I laid in bed and have convinced myself to exercise later… tomorrow…

Then a got a notification on my phone.  Cathy had posted a picture of herself having just worked out.  Oh HELL NO!!  If she is up and working out, I have NO excuse!!!  So I did it.  And it sucked.  a LOT.  I did t25 and it was ROUGH.  It showed me that I REALLY need to embrace this challenge and stop letting myself go.  I am so out-of-shape right now.  It was very evident on our trip and I hate it.  There are SO many pictures that are cute aside from the giant whale standing right in the center and will never be posted.  But even more important…. I need my energy back!! I need to not feel lame after a day of walking around!

So… MY GOALS for the next 21 days….

LESS JUNKFOOD!  (I am not going to be unrealistic here.  I tend to be an ALL OR NOTHING kind of girl and that has gotten me where I am today.  So LESS is better than …not less.  lol)

This sucks.

Lesson:  When a good part of your life revolves around talking about where you are going to move away to someday, there are people listening.  People that are at points in THEIR lives where they can take action instead of just talk-talk-talking about it.

Richmond, VA- The city that is stealing my child

It’s no secret that I had a hard time when Jessi went off to college.  But now she is REALLY LEAVING!  Like, ’12 hours away’ leaving.  Like, ‘have to fly there’ leaving.  Like, ‘requires several days off’ to visit leaving.

I am NOT handling it well.  At all.

Friday I spent the day crying.  All. Day.  (It didn’t help that I also binge-watched the Kid’s Baking Championship and when those little kidlets get crying…. damn… that show is ROUGH!)  Then I drank some Rum.  OK, more than some.

Saturday I got pissed off and spent the day angry. “Who the hell does she think she is!!?”  “She just texted me wanting me to bring her allergy meds at work, but she is going to move 12 hours way!!???  WHAT THE FUCK!!!??”  “She spent her whole life being my buddy and getting me all attached to her and now can just go to seeing me like twice a year and not even care!!!??? BITCH!”

Then I googled “my child is moving away”  and found that there are a LOT of message boards with mommies JUST LIKE ME!  I got that little gem that I posted yesterday from that board— clearly I was not quite ready to receive it LOL. Another gem that stuck with me was…

Just remember that they are not running AWAY from you, they are running TOWARDS their life (or something like that).
Something about reading that stuff flipped a switch for me.  I cried a little, then I sighed and got back to looking at cool apartments in Richmond for her to look check out.
Then I decided I needed a little retail therapy and was grateful to have married a man who not only understands the importance of retail therapy, but is totally down to join in.  So, I am now the proud owner of a few new super cute running outfits since I also have a man who is kinda smart and suggested that since running has helped me get through tough stuff in the past, I should run. run. RUN!

The Bunny Lost

Weekly coffee selfie… new diningroom location!

It was a long day but I made it through.  Lonnie and I both came close to giving in when Sean came home with so, so much candy and was like a crack dealer trying to share it with us.  But we stood strong.   I kept thinking, “Well it’s not like I am not going to have sugar at some point, why not on a holiday?”  and wondering if perhaps this torturing myself was just hollowing out a hole in my brain and I am eventually just going to go batshit crazy and EAT ALL THE THINGS to attempt to fill it up.  the funny thing is, at one point Lonnie said, “Just go ahead, pick like 4 pieces and keep it to that.”

  1. :::insert spoiled voice::: I don’t WANT 4 stupid pieces.  I want 104.
  2. I couldn’t even think of which 4 I would choose, honestly, none of them appealed to me– which told me that it wasn’t really the candy itself that I wanted, it was Veruca (that spoiled little girl!), being told no and throwing a tantrum.
  3. :::alert–this is the twisted one::: I spend a good part of the day bitching and pouting and threatening to eat the candy to Lonnie.  It wasn’t til the evening when he caught on to my shenanigans, had had enough, and finally said, “Go ahead.  Eat whatever you want, but I am not going to.” The wanting was instantly gone because I wasn’t getting the negative attention from him anymore.
New Mantra:

This Birthday girl didn’t eat no cake

Normally when I disappear from the blog, that means I have fallen into a bucket of sugar.  But not this time!  I have found that with all the writing I am doing for grad school, my writing itch gets plenty of scratchin’! 

I celebrated my 42nd birthday on Saturday and I celebrated it with lots of love from family and friends and some super awesome presents, but NO CAKE or ICE CREAM!  I didn’t even want it.  I know that having that stuff will just make me want more and more of it, and I also know that it will make me feel like crap mentally and physically, so I skipped it.  Yes it felt weird.  No I didn’t feel like I was missing out.  Instead Lonnie and I spent the afternoon in the kitchen making my FAVORITE spicy chicken Mexican bowls with homemade guac, and because it was my birthday and I am not a masochist, I even had some rice in my bowl.  (ACTUALLY I am reading a great book called ‘Paleo Takeout’ and I learned that there is considerable evidence that white rice is actually NOT the devil that we think it is.  And since I like that information, I am going with it!)  Starting out my 42nd year on earth in this way really feels symbolic, like this is my year. This is the year I get my shit together and shed some serious poundage.  When I finally get that exercise component into play LOOK OUT WORLD!




We’re back, baby!

Haha what a terrible pic
Just wrapped up day 2 of no sugar!  It feels SO satisfying to be back on track.  We were off the rails hard, and I felt completely out of control.  Last time we did this, Lonnie was completely on board and supportive, but he struggled because he was really doing it as a ‘solidarity’ type of thing.  On Sunday,  he decided to watch the movie “Fed Up” and then we watched “That Sugar Film” together.  I could never convince him to watch it last time because one of his pet peeves is my love of reading articles and watching movies that result in my wanting to change our entire lives 😉 
The two movies together were more than enough to inspire us to kick the sugar bullshit and start feeling great again!
My toughest days are Monday and Tuesday as I am busy busy busy with work, and now grad school stuff now on top of that, but I made it through like a champ with NO EXCUSES!!

Tastes like victory

Yesterday and today have been Hellacious work days.   I had to get gas today because I was on ‘E. ‘ I also had to get gas YESTERDAY because I was on ‘E. ‘ I’ve been everywhere man.  <–sing that

By the end of today I was… AM (still on the clock til midnight) EXHAUSTED.   I was soooo tempted to swing into McDonald’s emotionally AND HUNGERALLY, BUT I resisted.   And I had help holding out til I got home thanks to an awesome text husband letting me know that he had cooked a Frittata and had it ready and waiting for me to come home.   So OF COURSE I wasn’t going to eat and ruin my appetite and his efforts to help me stay on track! 

Another victory….

I felt like a cup of tea (Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride is MY JAM!) to warm me up emotionally AND hungerally 😉   And I actually thought to myself,  “Well I don’t want to get my blood sugar all up right before bed.”  Who the hell AM I!?
SO…  I enjoyed my tea without any sweetener just a tea bag and hot water.   And it was actually GOOD!