Motivation

Some snaps from the 21-day challenge that I just SLAYED AND TOOK NO PRISONERS!!!

On June 27th I went to the doctor because I was a sicky-sicky and concerned about possible Lyme disease.  Not only was the number on the scale was no bueno, but I also had high blood pressure, which has never been an issue for me (except when I was pregnant).  She suspected that the HBP was due to illness, but said, “Well when we make your appointment for your yearly physical, we will want to check that again and possibly need to start treating it.”  We all know what that means. Drugs.  No, thank you.

I had already been exercising, and trying (<–note the word trying) to eat right, but I left at appointment feeling the need to kick things into gear and get into shape.  Part of my daily motivation was the August 25th appointment for a physical.  I daydream about going in and having a much better scale number and a normal blood pressure.  I daydream about the doctor (who I have never met) saying something about my weight and being able to say, "Well, as you can see, I have lost weight since my last visit here.  I run 3 miles every other day, and I do strength and flexibility training on the other days, so I'm good!"

Today they called and rescheduled my appointment for freaking October!  A tiny part of me feels like I have lost that ‘immediate motivator.’  I was even counting on that appointment to keep me in check during our upcoming trip to Vegas and Dallas since it was 2 days after arriving home.  Just a tiny part though… I have plenty of motivators in my husband, and even moreso the way I FEEL!  I am full of energy and yesterday I suddenly noticed that I had to be more careful shaving my legs because of the definition in my calves LOL!!!! 

I wasn’t going to join this month’s challenge group because we are traveling so much and have a lot going on, but maybe I should.  I may need those daily reminders and motivators.

21 Day challenge- I does it.

Well “does it” may be stretching it.  I just started yesterday.

One of my coworkers, Cathy,  became a beachbody coach and started this little facebook group/challenge and I was like. “HELL YEAH I AM IN!”  (ok, I was more like, “oooh wouldn’t it be great if I actually followed through with this, but we all know I probably won’t”)

I work noon to midnight on Mondays and Tuesdays.  I actually chose that shift on purpose with the daydream of “Oooh… I’ll get up and exercise before work, and get stuff done, and it will just be sunshine and roses every day!!!”  Day 1 I laid in bed and have convinced myself to exercise later… tomorrow…

Then a got a notification on my phone.  Cathy had posted a picture of herself having just worked out.  Oh HELL NO!!  If she is up and working out, I have NO excuse!!!  So I did it.  And it sucked.  a LOT.  I did t25 and it was ROUGH.  It showed me that I REALLY need to embrace this challenge and stop letting myself go.  I am so out-of-shape right now.  It was very evident on our trip and I hate it.  There are SO many pictures that are cute aside from the giant whale standing right in the center and will never be posted.  But even more important…. I need my energy back!! I need to not feel lame after a day of walking around!

So… MY GOALS for the next 21 days….

NO MORE DIET SODA!!
LOTS MORE WATER!
EXERCISE EVERY DAY!!
LESS JUNKFOOD!  (I am not going to be unrealistic here.  I tend to be an ALL OR NOTHING kind of girl and that has gotten me where I am today.  So LESS is better than …not less.  lol)

Run… walk…. run… die…..

OMG This photo is laughably terrible, but it’s me and I accept that.  (Although you would THINK Lonnie could have told me to pull my shirt down…lol  Actually… no, he would never suggest anything like that, goes completely against his philosophy of nakedness)  It was taken right after finishing Day 1 of the Couch to 5k program.  I wonder how many “day 1s” I of this stupid program I have done?

Not gonna lie, it did NOT go well.  I was able to do with without walking at all, but in the past I have started day 1 and then skipped up a couple weeks because it was so easy.  It was not so easy for either Lonnie, or me.  BUT I felt awesome afterwards and am glad to be back out there.  I really think having this to focus on will help with the wide array of emotions going on around here!!  I still can’t believe my kid is moving 12 hours away.  To be honest… I still DON’T entirely believe it and am still in “I’ll believe it when I see it” mode. 

Let’s DO THIS!!!

This week’s “selfie” that actually DOES illustrate something!    

Plan:  Hop out of bed at 9am and go for a nice brisk hour-long walk with Luna

Reality: Wake up at 9…ish.  Lay in bed until 10 frigging around with my tablet and waffling back-and-forth about whether or not to walk.

“If I go at 930, I still have time to walk and get back to get ready for work at noon.”
“I could just start tomorrow.”
 
“Even if I go at 10, I still have time.”
 
“If I went at 10:30, I could still get in a half-hour walk.  Maybe I should start there anyway since I am so out-of-shape?”

Sean no likey the selfies 😉

Then I thought about the last line of yesterday’s blog.  “50 pounds to go!”  I don’t want next Sunday’s blog to still say, “50 pounds to go!”  So I JUMPED out of bed before I could change my mind again. THIS is why I blog.

I was GREATLY rewarded for not being a lazy fat-ass.  Sean is on school vacation, and shockingly agreed to join me, so we got in some great mother-son time!  I feel AWESOME!

I set my s-health app for 45 minutes of activity a day.  Not quite ready to pull the trigger on that full hour yet.  Somehow it feels like I am getting away with something naughty, and for some reason, I need that.  I’m just weird that way. 😉  

Oh Verruca….

Instead if the “weekly shows nothing selfie,
Here is one that actually does show something.
And you know what?  I don’t even hate it.

We’ve taken a few days off.  Not completely off, but a bit relaxed.  We had some cake for Sean’s birthday.  And Sean requested birthday lasagna as well.  Damn my lasagna is good.  I did do some little things to create the illusion of control …like make a smaller pan of lasagna.  And other than those things over the weekend, I stayed away from sugar. Including that Easter candy that continues to linger around the house.

Then yesterday I continued to be “off it” a bit.  I had a busy day and not-gonna-lie, the second I went out the door, I knew I was going to use my business as an excuse to have my favorite McDonald’s meal —even though I easily could have made a better choice.  Verruca (and Ms. PMS) wanted it…. and Colleen gave in.  Then when I got home from work, there were 2 pieces of cake left and I did my old… “Well… I already had McDonald’s…. may as well have a piece and get it out of here……”

Blogging this morning felt essential to get myself back on track before going completely off the rails again like we did after vacation.

BY THE WAY!!!  the “getting up at 9am every day thing” has been FANTASTIC!!  There had been a few days where I have fought it a bit, but Lonnie relentlessly texted and called me to make sure I got up.  I can’t believe how much more shit I have gotten done because I just have so much more time and FELT like it!!!  It’s already become a bit of a habit, as this morning, I did NOT want to get up, but was WIDE awake and ended up getting up since I couldn’t force myself to go back to sleep.  So…. WINNING!!!

This Birthday girl didn’t eat no cake

Normally when I disappear from the blog, that means I have fallen into a bucket of sugar.  But not this time!  I have found that with all the writing I am doing for grad school, my writing itch gets plenty of scratchin’! 

I celebrated my 42nd birthday on Saturday and I celebrated it with lots of love from family and friends and some super awesome presents, but NO CAKE or ICE CREAM!  I didn’t even want it.  I know that having that stuff will just make me want more and more of it, and I also know that it will make me feel like crap mentally and physically, so I skipped it.  Yes it felt weird.  No I didn’t feel like I was missing out.  Instead Lonnie and I spent the afternoon in the kitchen making my FAVORITE spicy chicken Mexican bowls with homemade guac, and because it was my birthday and I am not a masochist, I even had some rice in my bowl.  (ACTUALLY I am reading a great book called ‘Paleo Takeout’ and I learned that there is considerable evidence that white rice is actually NOT the devil that we think it is.  And since I like that information, I am going with it!)  Starting out my 42nd year on earth in this way really feels symbolic, like this is my year. This is the year I get my shit together and shed some serious poundage.  When I finally get that exercise component into play LOOK OUT WORLD!

 https://read.amazon.com/kp/card?asin=B00YPJLASS&preview=inline&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_47l9wb0BGVB89

 

 

Fake Sugar and vacation countdown!

Well… this week’s ‘iced coffee selfie that illustrates nothing’ actually does illustrate something.  Don’t wear this shirt and a sports bra that smashes the boobies.  I look like a blob.

Last week I had been thinking that by this week I would not have that iced coffee in my hand and would be off artificial sweeteners.  I am not.  Not even a little.  I am trying to be more mindful about it and make a least a few choices here and there that don’t involve that garbage.  I didn’t have any diet soda at all yesterday,  and I drank a cup of tea with no real or fake sugar in it at all, and actually enjoyed it!

We leave on Friday for our vacation and I feel awesome that I have been able to stick to this the whole time!!  I do wish I had exercised more and was in better running shape, but, oh well… it is what it is.

The big test now is coming HOME from vacation and staying attached to this new lifestyle.  I am actually not worried about the vacation itself.  The food in Mexico is all real. actual food, and we don’t eat crap down there anyway.  We DO, however, drink lots of sugary margaritas, and I have NO plans to skimp on those!  😉  I never gain weight on vacation though, we are SO active- walking-swimming-snorkeling-biking-hiking-ziplining-parasailing……. that it all evens out.  The tricky parts are the travel days.  I think my Cinnabon experience will help me stay on track as eating shitty food while traveling does NOT work for me, or anyone around me 😉

Day 34- The good the bad and the ugly

Thinking I will be back to daily this week because I feel like I am faltering a bit.  And while I KNOW
and can FEEL that this is PMS related—  It appears knowing is not actually half the battle when you still stuff a pizza into your gob anyway.

New gym pants from Lane Bryant

The good:

Olive Garden dressing— basically candy.

-On Friday I got up and went to the gym all on my own… all alone! And lifted weights like a beast!!
-Went to Olive Garden with Jessi yesterday, and while I did have some stuff I shouldn’t have, a few risotto rice balls, chicken gnocchi soup, and lots of salad (you know that dressing is terrible for you, right– it’ll full of sugar!!
), I passed on breadsticks, and I stuck to one small bowl of soup– and I didn’t finish it.

Oh yeah I had a berry Sangria too 😉  More sugar, but SO yummy!

-I got some AWESOME new gym pants from Lane Bryant. I usually only shop there for bras and undies, I have never really liked the way their clothes fit.  They were having a giant clearance and I tried them on and LOVE LOVE LOVE.  They are super flattering and stay in place when lifting and running.  WIN WIN WIN!

The bad:
-The two giant margaritas before the Brad Paisley concert.  (Please don’t assume from this that I am a country music loving redneck!!!),   I have no regrets though, as we had SO MUCH FUN out and about with our friends!

-Small pizza for dinner last night.  OMG it was so good, but I really should have made a better choice.  Pizza is probably what I miss the most when I am watching carbs and none of those supposed substitutes even come close, so I don’t even bother.  Pizza once a month or so is not going to kill me.   (Next month news headline: Woman Chokes and Dies on Pizza Crust)

-The gym probably isn’t happening at all this weekend as we are trying to super clean the house and get errands done because we leave for our trip on Friday!

The Ugly:
Bitch please.  There is no ugly here!

 

Day 30!

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie

I can’t believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it’s been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed.

Things that have not changed….

  • I am still fat.  (I shouldn’t say things like that, I know…. positive self talk… blah blah blah….)
  • I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them.
  • I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all.
  • I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to
  • I still love Justin Bieber
  • And One Direction.

Things that HAVE changed….

  • I have LESS fat on my body.
  • The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it’s under.
  • I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn’t fit properply.
  • I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, but that is all I have done so far)
  • I feel confident in the weight room at the gym, even when Lonnie is not there with me
  • I LOOK FORWARD to Sunday yoga
  • I don’t crave McDonald’s anymore. Or cheez its.  Or sour patch kids.
  • We have saved probably around $200-400 dollars this month because there is no more nightlt convenience store snack run.  When I think of the shitty food and wasted money…. I almost didn’t even want to type that one out because it’s embarrassing.
  • Much less alcohol is being consumed.  We used to have a tradition of finding new wines to pair with our dinner on Wednesdays, and on weekends would have a couple drinks in the evening.  BUT, even if I have one glass of alcohol, I feel like a zombie in the morning and have to drag my ass out of bed, and I don’t need excuses to not get up and going!!  ESPECIALLY on Sunday mornings because I want to feel good for yoga!
  • My skin is better, breakouts and blemishes are basically non-existent!
  • I never have “stomach issues” anymore or wake up feeling gross
  • There have also been some weird changes that may or may not be related….
    • I get up earlier every day
    • I make my bed every day
    • I have started to enjoy folding and putting away laundry and it doesn’t just live in baskets anymore

WOW that is a big list of reasons to never stop living this way, and right now I honestly don’t even want to stop!  I feel awesome, happy, energized, and confident!!  GO ME!!

Days 28 and 29

Need to stop this day counting thing soon, it’s confusing as hell!

NO time yesterday to blog or take my weekly ‘useless-does-not-illustrate-anything-at-all iced coffee selfie’ 😉  I actually got called in to work before I even got out of bed!!  I DID manage to hork down leftover chicken with guac from Sunday nights dinner though, so was able to start a crazy day off right!  It felt good to make myself a priority and not just throw everything out the window and eat shitty food because I am overwhelmed and busy.

I was on the road all day, and did not have time or inclination to pack a lunch, so when I finally had a second to breath, I ran into a grocery store deep in the woods of Greenville, Maine, picked up a cheese stick, a bag of macadamia nuts (YUM!!!  Hadn’t had those in FOREVER!!!), and a yellow pepper and munched my way back to civilization.  Again…. feeling AWESOME that I am not using the hectic-ness of my job as an excuse to derail.  I even stopped at McDonald’s for a sugar-free iced coffee, and didn’t even think about my once-coveted “#2-cheesburgers plain!”