Hello? Anyone there?

Remember when I said that when coming back from vacation it would be hard to get back “on it.”  Holy Shit– has is ever!??

I’m a mess.

I can blame that I just started grad school.
I can blame that my work schedule has just changed.
I can blame… well… it’s winter…. it’s this… it’s that….. blah blah blah

None of those excuses are actual things that have prevented me from eating well.  None of them.  What HAS prevented me from eating well.  I don’t want to.  I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to plan.  I don’t want o grocery shop

I feel gross.  I feel bloaty and fat and my clothes feel tight.  Lonnie has gained weight too, and because he only gains weight in his belly, it shows quickly and makes him feel gross.  We need to get our shit together.  ASAP.

How do you get that driven feeling back once it disappears!!??  I don’t even want to grocery shop for the “good healthy foods” because well…. probably because part of me knows that I am just going to waste it and part of me knows that if I buy it, then I should get back on it and I DON’T WANNA!!

Tastes like victory

Yesterday and today have been Hellacious work days.   I had to get gas today because I was on ‘E. ‘ I also had to get gas YESTERDAY because I was on ‘E. ‘ I’ve been everywhere man.  <–sing that

By the end of today I was… AM (still on the clock til midnight) EXHAUSTED.   I was soooo tempted to swing into McDonald’s emotionally AND HUNGERALLY, BUT I resisted.   And I had help holding out til I got home thanks to an awesome text husband letting me know that he had cooked a Frittata and had it ready and waiting for me to come home.   So OF COURSE I wasn’t going to eat and ruin my appetite and his efforts to help me stay on track! 

Another victory….

I felt like a cup of tea (Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride is MY JAM!) to warm me up emotionally AND hungerally 😉   And I actually thought to myself,  “Well I don’t want to get my blood sugar all up right before bed.”  Who the hell AM I!?
SO…  I enjoyed my tea without any sweetener just a tea bag and hot water.   And it was actually GOOD!

Day 34- The good the bad and the ugly

Thinking I will be back to daily this week because I feel like I am faltering a bit.  And while I KNOW
and can FEEL that this is PMS related—  It appears knowing is not actually half the battle when you still stuff a pizza into your gob anyway.

New gym pants from Lane Bryant

The good:

Olive Garden dressing— basically candy.

-On Friday I got up and went to the gym all on my own… all alone! And lifted weights like a beast!!
-Went to Olive Garden with Jessi yesterday, and while I did have some stuff I shouldn’t have, a few risotto rice balls, chicken gnocchi soup, and lots of salad (you know that dressing is terrible for you, right– it’ll full of sugar!!
), I passed on breadsticks, and I stuck to one small bowl of soup– and I didn’t finish it.

Oh yeah I had a berry Sangria too 😉  More sugar, but SO yummy!

-I got some AWESOME new gym pants from Lane Bryant. I usually only shop there for bras and undies, I have never really liked the way their clothes fit.  They were having a giant clearance and I tried them on and LOVE LOVE LOVE.  They are super flattering and stay in place when lifting and running.  WIN WIN WIN!

The bad:
-The two giant margaritas before the Brad Paisley concert.  (Please don’t assume from this that I am a country music loving redneck!!!),   I have no regrets though, as we had SO MUCH FUN out and about with our friends!

-Small pizza for dinner last night.  OMG it was so good, but I really should have made a better choice.  Pizza is probably what I miss the most when I am watching carbs and none of those supposed substitutes even come close, so I don’t even bother.  Pizza once a month or so is not going to kill me.   (Next month news headline: Woman Chokes and Dies on Pizza Crust)

-The gym probably isn’t happening at all this weekend as we are trying to super clean the house and get errands done because we leave for our trip on Friday!

The Ugly:
Bitch please.  There is no ugly here!

 

Day 18- GODDAMN SNACKS

Sometimes you just need a GODDAMN SNACK that ISN’T rendered pepperoni chips from the microwave.

I talked about my standby sweet treat a few blogs ago… http://colleenisonit.blogspot.com/2016/01/day-1-1.html

I still need to figure out how to deal with my salty, crunchy snack needs.  New goal for the weekend…..  Pinterest up some low carb snack ideas. 

One thing I KNOW I like is cheese “crackers.”  BUT…. cheese is fucking expensive and you get SO little cracker out of so much cheese!! (….not to mention all the oil that drains off it all is kinda gross but I digress)

Here is a recipe, This chick bakes them in the oven, but as you should know by now….
I just make a big on in a small frying pan on the stove and break it up into little pieces.

This is hard. And yes… That’s what she said.

Being an emotional eater sucks. Being an emotional eater at “that time the month” when you are highly emotional anyway and have cravings for things like cheez-it’s and sugar cereal and sour patch kids and Ben and Jerry’s coffee Heath bar crunch sucks extra super hard. Being an emotional eater when you are chomping at the bit for the love-of-your-life to move in with you and it’s just days away… But it’s not here yet and tonight you are alone… Extra alone because your kids are at their Dad’s house… Extra extra super sucks.

I came home and ate half a box of cheez it’s and then attacked a box of frosted flakes. I went over my calories by 263. Damn. I was then feeling my typical “oh well this day is blown, I may as well eat whatever.” I was also trying to talk myself into going out for a walk or a run but feeling very lazy and tired…another of those wonderful things about pms ;-). As I sat here arguing with myself…. Enter Butters (my brother’s dog)whining and dancing around wanting to go out… WELL… If I have to take him out anyway… I may as well take the little jerk for a nice long walk and cancel out my emotional binge!! So I took a 361 calorie walk and now have 97 left!! YAY ME!

I wrote this blog tonight to help me to not come home and ruin my success. Not gonna lie… I did have a brief moment of… “Well I already was over before and resigned myself to it… Maybe I should go for the sour patch kids in the name of pms….”

Not. Gonna. Do. It!!!!!