Dr. Laura hates fat people, and really is an idiot. ​Yet I keep listening.

Dr. Laura:  How tall are you and what do you weigh?
Glutton for punishment: 5′ 6″ 240
Dr. Laura: You are in a medical emergency.  You need to see a doctor right away. And it needs to be a doctor whose expertise is people who are grossly overweight.  You can’t do this on your own, you need to be under a doctor’s care.  A doctor who specializes in people who are GROSSLY. OVER. WEIGHT.
Glutton for punishment: Well I am in a fitness challenge right now where we all exercise and eat right and stuff like that.

Dr. Laura: You shouldn’t be doing that.  I don’t like that.  You are way too far gone to be doing it that way.  You need to see a doctor and maybe have one of those stomach-shrinking procedures. I really don’t like those challenges for people that far gone.  It’s dangerous.

(Dr Laura also tossed in some “lazy, and undisciplined” remarks too, just to make sure she was getting her point across)

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From this challenge, exercise, and healthy food loving fat chick.  F–K YOU!

 

Grossly overweight.  How about GROSSLY UNPROFESSIONAL!!!???  A person calls you, a “professional,” for advice on why you have trouble staying motivated to lose weight, and you tell her to stop exercising and eating healthy food. And then flippantly insist to her that only an invasive surgery with a 10-50% percent success rate (depending on what study you read) will help her.  I can’t even imagine how disappointed that woman must have been when she hung up that phone. I’ll bet you a dollar that ice cream was consumed soon thereafter, because, why bother?  A “professional” told her that her efforts were useless.

I would say that 80 percent of Dr. Laura’s calls are her telling people to eliminate negative and destructive people from their lives. After 20 years of listening, consider yourself eliminated, Dr. Negative.

 

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Me.  Somehow living through a jog.  On a hot day EVEN!

 

 

Motivation

Some snaps from the 21-day challenge that I just SLAYED AND TOOK NO PRISONERS!!!

On June 27th I went to the doctor because I was a sicky-sicky and concerned about possible Lyme disease.  Not only was the number on the scale was no bueno, but I also had high blood pressure, which has never been an issue for me (except when I was pregnant).  She suspected that the HBP was due to illness, but said, “Well when we make your appointment for your yearly physical, we will want to check that again and possibly need to start treating it.”  We all know what that means. Drugs.  No, thank you.

I had already been exercising, and trying (<–note the word trying) to eat right, but I left at appointment feeling the need to kick things into gear and get into shape.  Part of my daily motivation was the August 25th appointment for a physical.  I daydream about going in and having a much better scale number and a normal blood pressure.  I daydream about the doctor (who I have never met) saying something about my weight and being able to say, "Well, as you can see, I have lost weight since my last visit here.  I run 3 miles every other day, and I do strength and flexibility training on the other days, so I'm good!"

Today they called and rescheduled my appointment for freaking October!  A tiny part of me feels like I have lost that ‘immediate motivator.’  I was even counting on that appointment to keep me in check during our upcoming trip to Vegas and Dallas since it was 2 days after arriving home.  Just a tiny part though… I have plenty of motivators in my husband, and even moreso the way I FEEL!  I am full of energy and yesterday I suddenly noticed that I had to be more careful shaving my legs because of the definition in my calves LOL!!!! 

I wasn’t going to join this month’s challenge group because we are traveling so much and have a lot going on, but maybe I should.  I may need those daily reminders and motivators.

How to win Couch to 5k

My traditional post-run “collapsed on the stairs at the end” selfie (and my Ennelle Sports bra–if ya gots the big boobies like me, this bra will be your bff! It locks the girls down like there is a riot in cell block 8!)

Listen.  I have started, stopped, finished, and quit C25k roughly 67 times over the past several years.  I now consider myself an expert.

  • My biggest success in this program has been when I combine it with leg strength stuff on non-run days.  Right now I am doing t25 (and sometimes Jillian for variety), and my legs are STRONG!  Strong legs= easier running!!

  • If you can’t complete all the run segments, do it again next time, don’t try and move on.  Except maybe that stupid, random 20 minute run in week 5.  Fuck that guy.

  • It doesn’t matter if you take longer to finish the program than the 8 weeks.  And that 8 week thing is kinda bullshit anyway because by the end of week 6, it’s just warm-up/ruuuuuuuuuunnnnnn/cool-down, no more intervals.

BUT

I talked with the trainer I hired last winter, and he was adamant that it shouldn’t really take any more than 2 weeks or so to move up and that if you can’t, then you need to work more on leg strength on off days, and also be less of a baby.

***Some days will inexplicably SUUUUUUUCK and you won’t even be able to get through what you got through just fine last time.  Shit happens.  When it’s around…. that time…. my legs sometimes feel like they are made of lead and I am running through jello.

The biggie for me that had to click is…  IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HARD!!!  IT’S EXERCISE!!  If you wait to move up a step until the run segments are “easy” ….you will never finish.  Look at the runners you see out and about every day.  They are breathing heavy, sweating, and sometimes look like they want to die.  It’s called running.

And now… some of the things that make me a happy running lady…..
Buddy Pouch  This thing RULES!!  It folds over your pants and magnets together, no arm-band for weird tans or chafing, or general annoyingness. Plus there is room for other stuff like a car/house key, credit card, money, condom, (hey… I don’t know what you do when you run…. #nojudgementzone)

Motorola S305 headphones.  I’ve tried em all, people. And I always come back to these babies.  Bluetooth, great sound, don’t fall out of my ears, and they are cheap.  Yes, we own 3 pairs because I have an irrational fear they will stop making them. (My oldest pair is over 5 years old and still going strong)  Disclaimer: they do get sweaty and gross, but that just makes me feel like a badass)
Nike Pegasus Zoom.  Sneakers.  ALSO have tried ’em all… Brook, adidas, reebok…. even the fancy Mizunos that supposedly teach you better form.  Then I bought these a Marden’s for cheap just for gyming– not running, and they turned out to be the most comfortable running shoes I have ever owned.  I always thought that I needed stability shoes because I am a fatty, but I recently learned that they were not good for my gait and encouraged ankle rolling.  Ain’t NOBODY got time for that!