Challenge complete!

So I finished another 3 week challenge.  I did not finish very strong, kinda let the ole PMS derail things.  I also have been under-the-weather the past few days with either the flu or lyme disease. Fantastic.

ANYWAY….

I am still off soda.  I don’t even miss it anymore.
I am am loving water!
I am starting to actually enjoy exercise again… (well except for the past couple days)

BUT….
I went to the doctor today (see above), and got weighed.  It was bad. Really bad. Makes me feel like all these great changes have been for nothing and that sucks.  It’s not like I don’t know why though.  I have been eating a lot of shit.  That dam convenience store down the road is the bane of my existence.  Especially since I am Mrs. Eatsmyfeelings and I am having a lot of feelings to eat lately!

My plan.  Give myself a break until Jessi heads to Richmond at the end of the week, then it’s FUCKING ON!  NO more convenience store. Continuing with working out.  And eating…?? I have no idea.  Should I weight watchers again?  Should I low carb?  Should I go back to the divorce diet of blow pops and only dinner?

Lazy weekend

I worked overnight Thursday and Friday, and even though I was able to get plenty of sleep, I still used it as an excuse to eat ALL THE CARBS and accomplish nothing all weekend long 😉  And I am good with that!

I just looked at the weather and it looks like this is the week I will finally get back outside and work my way back into running.  I got me some AWESOME Newton’s fer cheap at Marden’s over the winter and they are ready to hit the pavement! I have such illusions of it being fun and great to be back out running, but I know that it won’t be.  I will probably hate every second of it… until the last second when I feel GREAT that I DID IT!

Oh Verruca….

Instead if the “weekly shows nothing selfie,
Here is one that actually does show something.
And you know what?  I don’t even hate it.

We’ve taken a few days off.  Not completely off, but a bit relaxed.  We had some cake for Sean’s birthday.  And Sean requested birthday lasagna as well.  Damn my lasagna is good.  I did do some little things to create the illusion of control …like make a smaller pan of lasagna.  And other than those things over the weekend, I stayed away from sugar. Including that Easter candy that continues to linger around the house.

Then yesterday I continued to be “off it” a bit.  I had a busy day and not-gonna-lie, the second I went out the door, I knew I was going to use my business as an excuse to have my favorite McDonald’s meal —even though I easily could have made a better choice.  Verruca (and Ms. PMS) wanted it…. and Colleen gave in.  Then when I got home from work, there were 2 pieces of cake left and I did my old… “Well… I already had McDonald’s…. may as well have a piece and get it out of here……”

Blogging this morning felt essential to get myself back on track before going completely off the rails again like we did after vacation.

BY THE WAY!!!  the “getting up at 9am every day thing” has been FANTASTIC!!  There had been a few days where I have fought it a bit, but Lonnie relentlessly texted and called me to make sure I got up.  I can’t believe how much more shit I have gotten done because I just have so much more time and FELT like it!!!  It’s already become a bit of a habit, as this morning, I did NOT want to get up, but was WIDE awake and ended up getting up since I couldn’t force myself to go back to sleep.  So…. WINNING!!!

Hello? Anyone there?

Remember when I said that when coming back from vacation it would be hard to get back “on it.”  Holy Shit– has is ever!??

I’m a mess.

I can blame that I just started grad school.
I can blame that my work schedule has just changed.
I can blame… well… it’s winter…. it’s this… it’s that….. blah blah blah

None of those excuses are actual things that have prevented me from eating well.  None of them.  What HAS prevented me from eating well.  I don’t want to.  I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to plan.  I don’t want o grocery shop

I feel gross.  I feel bloaty and fat and my clothes feel tight.  Lonnie has gained weight too, and because he only gains weight in his belly, it shows quickly and makes him feel gross.  We need to get our shit together.  ASAP.

How do you get that driven feeling back once it disappears!!??  I don’t even want to grocery shop for the “good healthy foods” because well…. probably because part of me knows that I am just going to waste it and part of me knows that if I buy it, then I should get back on it and I DON’T WANNA!!

Fake Sugar and vacation countdown!

Well… this week’s ‘iced coffee selfie that illustrates nothing’ actually does illustrate something.  Don’t wear this shirt and a sports bra that smashes the boobies.  I look like a blob.

Last week I had been thinking that by this week I would not have that iced coffee in my hand and would be off artificial sweeteners.  I am not.  Not even a little.  I am trying to be more mindful about it and make a least a few choices here and there that don’t involve that garbage.  I didn’t have any diet soda at all yesterday,  and I drank a cup of tea with no real or fake sugar in it at all, and actually enjoyed it!

We leave on Friday for our vacation and I feel awesome that I have been able to stick to this the whole time!!  I do wish I had exercised more and was in better running shape, but, oh well… it is what it is.

The big test now is coming HOME from vacation and staying attached to this new lifestyle.  I am actually not worried about the vacation itself.  The food in Mexico is all real. actual food, and we don’t eat crap down there anyway.  We DO, however, drink lots of sugary margaritas, and I have NO plans to skimp on those!  😉  I never gain weight on vacation though, we are SO active- walking-swimming-snorkeling-biking-hiking-ziplining-parasailing……. that it all evens out.  The tricky parts are the travel days.  I think my Cinnabon experience will help me stay on track as eating shitty food while traveling does NOT work for me, or anyone around me 😉

Day 34- The good the bad and the ugly

Thinking I will be back to daily this week because I feel like I am faltering a bit.  And while I KNOW
and can FEEL that this is PMS related—  It appears knowing is not actually half the battle when you still stuff a pizza into your gob anyway.

New gym pants from Lane Bryant

The good:

Olive Garden dressing— basically candy.

-On Friday I got up and went to the gym all on my own… all alone! And lifted weights like a beast!!
-Went to Olive Garden with Jessi yesterday, and while I did have some stuff I shouldn’t have, a few risotto rice balls, chicken gnocchi soup, and lots of salad (you know that dressing is terrible for you, right– it’ll full of sugar!!
), I passed on breadsticks, and I stuck to one small bowl of soup– and I didn’t finish it.

Oh yeah I had a berry Sangria too 😉  More sugar, but SO yummy!

-I got some AWESOME new gym pants from Lane Bryant. I usually only shop there for bras and undies, I have never really liked the way their clothes fit.  They were having a giant clearance and I tried them on and LOVE LOVE LOVE.  They are super flattering and stay in place when lifting and running.  WIN WIN WIN!

The bad:
-The two giant margaritas before the Brad Paisley concert.  (Please don’t assume from this that I am a country music loving redneck!!!),   I have no regrets though, as we had SO MUCH FUN out and about with our friends!

-Small pizza for dinner last night.  OMG it was so good, but I really should have made a better choice.  Pizza is probably what I miss the most when I am watching carbs and none of those supposed substitutes even come close, so I don’t even bother.  Pizza once a month or so is not going to kill me.   (Next month news headline: Woman Chokes and Dies on Pizza Crust)

-The gym probably isn’t happening at all this weekend as we are trying to super clean the house and get errands done because we leave for our trip on Friday!

The Ugly:
Bitch please.  There is no ugly here!

 

Day 30!

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie

I can’t believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it’s been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed.

Things that have not changed….

  • I am still fat.  (I shouldn’t say things like that, I know…. positive self talk… blah blah blah….)
  • I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them.
  • I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all.
  • I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to
  • I still love Justin Bieber
  • And One Direction.

Things that HAVE changed….

  • I have LESS fat on my body.
  • The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it’s under.
  • I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn’t fit properply.
  • I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, but that is all I have done so far)
  • I feel confident in the weight room at the gym, even when Lonnie is not there with me
  • I LOOK FORWARD to Sunday yoga
  • I don’t crave McDonald’s anymore. Or cheez its.  Or sour patch kids.
  • We have saved probably around $200-400 dollars this month because there is no more nightlt convenience store snack run.  When I think of the shitty food and wasted money…. I almost didn’t even want to type that one out because it’s embarrassing.
  • Much less alcohol is being consumed.  We used to have a tradition of finding new wines to pair with our dinner on Wednesdays, and on weekends would have a couple drinks in the evening.  BUT, even if I have one glass of alcohol, I feel like a zombie in the morning and have to drag my ass out of bed, and I don’t need excuses to not get up and going!!  ESPECIALLY on Sunday mornings because I want to feel good for yoga!
  • My skin is better, breakouts and blemishes are basically non-existent!
  • I never have “stomach issues” anymore or wake up feeling gross
  • There have also been some weird changes that may or may not be related….
    • I get up earlier every day
    • I make my bed every day
    • I have started to enjoy folding and putting away laundry and it doesn’t just live in baskets anymore

WOW that is a big list of reasons to never stop living this way, and right now I honestly don’t even want to stop!  I feel awesome, happy, energized, and confident!!  GO ME!!