App Battle: Lose it! vs myfitnesspal

screenshot_20180603-103349_lose it!7785084655072124771..jpgI’ve been using the “Lose it!” app for 6 days and as of this morning, I am back to myfitnesspal*. The Lose It (LI) app is SO CUTE! I LOVE the interface and it seems a little easier to add foods because there aren’t so many choices like in myfitnesspal (MFP) (For example, when you type ‘chicken thighs’ into MFP, you get about 456,402 options with calories ranging from 7 to 7294 :::a SMALL exaggeration:::).  BUT….

  • I got VERY sick of the ‘This is a premium feature so you should give us money if you want to do that!’ messages. For things even like adding food to the following day– which they call “Meal Planning,” which is a “premium feature.”
  • Lose it! claimed to sync with Google fitness (or whatever its called–should just be ‘big brother is watching everything you do’), but it didn’t.
  • Because I’ve used MFP for so many years, it knows me. Which is an unfair advantage, but still an advantage because all my favorite foods and exercises are already there.
  • I miss my friends!!  I do well with knowing others can see what I am doing and also just seeing that people I know are using the app too keeps me motivated.  Basically, everyone has tried myfitnesspal at some point, so even when their accounts are currently not in use, it still shows a buncha peeps on my list that could be watscreenshot_20180603-111049_chrome7952289790348164968.jpgching. And I like that.

Nutshell:

myfitnesspal wins because you get way more for way less aka FREE!

*Note: myfitnesspal is lowercase intentionally (see photo 😉  )

 

IT’S NOT A DIET IT’S A LIFESTYLE

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Lonnie woke up VERY fired up about this “LIFESTYLE CHANGE,” blowing up my phone before I even made it to the Kuerig  

My shower curtain was VERY handsy this morning.  And let’s just say I appreciate the gesture after recently discovering I’ve gained FIFTEEN POUNDS since March. What the actual fuck? I’m not stupid; I know my clothes are tighter and that I have been eating a lot of shitty food and exercising less, but DAYUM! I was in some DEEEEEE-NIAL about how off-the-rails I’ve been. I have a multitude of excuses but gather ’em all up in a jar along with a nickel and you still won’t be able to buy……. um…. a thing that costs more than a nickel….?

BACK ON THE RAILS!

Lonnie and I are BACK ON IT! He has forbidden the use of the word “diet,”  preferring the in-my-opinion-much-overused-these-days, “lifestyle change.” But let’s be real. If it walks like a diet, and quacks like a diet, it’s a fucking diet.

So I’ve got the Lose It app loaded. (Felt like a fresh start –so trying this instead of Myfitnesspal)

We’ve got the fridge STOCKED with healthy food.

LET’S DO THIS THING (Forever… you know… because it’s a LIFESTYLE CHANGE AND NOT A DIET!

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I did (not do) a Whole 30!!

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I have been wanting to do a Whole30 for a couple years now, but the timing was never right, and there were always things I didn’t think I could give up. Coffee with cream and sugar, and cheese were my main concerns. And oddly enough, those were the least of my problems, as from the title, you can probably see that I didn’t complete the program. My timeline went something like this.

Day 1 -SO EXCITE!! I am DOING THIS!! Went to the grocery store to shop for stuff and learned 1. All bacon has sugar in it. 2. Most EVERYTHING ELSE has some form of sugar tucked secretly away in it and you have to be a detective/scientist to successfully grocery shop. What have I done?

Day 2 -What do you mean I can’t cook with wine or soy sauce or Worcestershire? Literally everything we cook has either one or the other. Not cooking with wine is stupid. The alcohol is all cooked out so it’s basically juice and juice is allowed. Fuck you guys, I’m cooking with wine. And soy sauce. I’m not buying your stupid $10 coconut aminos. It’s a racket and I would bet money there is a conspiracy there that I don’t have time to dig up right now. I can give up the Worcestershire. I can’t even pronounce it properly anyway.

Days 3-9 were a blur of exhaustion, emotions, painful headaches, inexplicable constipation despite eating LOTS of fruits and veggies, and wondering why I am even doing this. I had no “why.” The friend I was doing it with has great “whys” which certainly make it easier to stick to the program. My only “why” was “something to do” and maybe weight loss, but weight loss is never supposed to be the focus of the program.

Days 9-13 were a roller coaster of feeling amazing and full of energy, to feeling literal exhaustion to the point of falling asleep in the middle of the day and still needing to go to bed at 930, and continued headaches. I also couldn’t exercise like I usually do because I felt so drained, which led to more ‘why am I doing this?’These days the program also started to affect the rest of the family and I could tell my “diet” was a pain-in-the-ass for everyone around me, even though it didn’t really affect them. When people are eating yummy food and having adult beverages, having someone around who is abstaining from those things is annoying—even if the person isn’t making a display of it. Everyone can just feel it. Also, Lonnie does a LOT of the cooking for the family and he is watching his carbs and mostly sticking to whole foods as well, but having to know and cook by the whole30 rules was a stressor he was not enjoying.

So I decided to ‘kinda’ stop. I say ‘kinda’ because I am just going to loosen up a bit but still stick to no processed foods. I also won’t go back to putting sugar and cream in my coffee. I actually like the cashew-almond milk I’ve been using and it has more calcium than milk. This morning I was worried I would go off the rails with food knowing I was done with Whole30, but when I got on the scale for the this morning (weighing yourself is not allowed on whole30) and saw that I’ve lost 9 pounds, any of those concerns went out the window. Excited to learn to live my life mostly eating this way and keep seeing the weight come off and my energy come back!

Confession: I did eat a big cookie today while working at the hospital. And you know what? It was too sweet and I felt gross afterwards for couple hours. There is something to this thing for sure! Healthy food! WHO KNEW!!??

Also…. I haven’t even missed the cheese I was so worried about.

The Pig

captureWhen I picture “Binge Eating Disorder,” I see a person sitting in the middle of a pile of junk food and empty wrappers in a frenzied, frantic state. I see a woman sneaking away from her family and shoving food down her throat really fast before someone comes into the room.  I see someone digging through trash to find food they had tried to throw away to stop themselves from eating it.  I see someone ordering a salad when out with friends, and then going home and eating their entire kitchen.  Disgusting scenes.  All of them.

That’s not me.  So, of COURSE,  I don’t have “Binge Eating Disorder,” right?  Wrong.  40 years of denial has been fun though. LOL It’s embarrassing. Disgusting. It sounds so much nicer to say things like, “emotional eating,” or “overeating,” or joking about just loving food. 3748156944155719512-account_id=1.jpg

I don’t even remember what triggered the thought I may have this problem.  I do remember that once it occurred to me, I pushed it down and didn’t research it like I usually would for a least a week. I didn’t want to see in print what my heart already knew.

When I did begin to research, I took some quizzes and read some scholarly journal articles, and had to face the facts.It’s been several weeks since I realized that I have a problem, and I am only now feeling like I can blog about it.  But here I am blogging, because I just finished this book and it has been so different from other stuff I have read in my seemingly never-ending-quest-for-thinness.  The book had me when he basically says, ‘you can’t love yourself thin…that’s stupid.

I have committed to some major changes since reading the book and have not waivered, so I think I am on to something here.  So I share, even though I am embarrassed, in case there is even one person out there living the struggle that I can help.  The book is freaking FREE (I have no idea why…..) on Amazon and is electronic so you can start immediately!!!

Motivation

Some snaps from the 21-day challenge that I just SLAYED AND TOOK NO PRISONERS!!!

On June 27th I went to the doctor because I was a sicky-sicky and concerned about possible Lyme disease.  Not only was the number on the scale was no bueno, but I also had high blood pressure, which has never been an issue for me (except when I was pregnant).  She suspected that the HBP was due to illness, but said, “Well when we make your appointment for your yearly physical, we will want to check that again and possibly need to start treating it.”  We all know what that means. Drugs.  No, thank you.

I had already been exercising, and trying (<–note the word trying) to eat right, but I left at appointment feeling the need to kick things into gear and get into shape.  Part of my daily motivation was the August 25th appointment for a physical.  I daydream about going in and having a much better scale number and a normal blood pressure.  I daydream about the doctor (who I have never met) saying something about my weight and being able to say, "Well, as you can see, I have lost weight since my last visit here.  I run 3 miles every other day, and I do strength and flexibility training on the other days, so I'm good!"

Today they called and rescheduled my appointment for freaking October!  A tiny part of me feels like I have lost that ‘immediate motivator.’  I was even counting on that appointment to keep me in check during our upcoming trip to Vegas and Dallas since it was 2 days after arriving home.  Just a tiny part though… I have plenty of motivators in my husband, and even moreso the way I FEEL!  I am full of energy and yesterday I suddenly noticed that I had to be more careful shaving my legs because of the definition in my calves LOL!!!! 

I wasn’t going to join this month’s challenge group because we are traveling so much and have a lot going on, but maybe I should.  I may need those daily reminders and motivators.

FU July.

As I watch the second of our 2 cars being hauled off by a tow truck–both this morning, I thought myself, “WELL FUCK JULY SO FAR!”  Then I remembered my mom saying in an email the other day, “Blog, girl, blog.  It’s cheaper than psychotherapy 😉

So… July started with my baby moving 12 hours away, and not-at-all in the way we had planned.  The plan was to load her and her friend up in a moving truck, and wave goodbye as they drove off into the horizon.  Then her friend decided she couldn’t go for 2 more weeks, which threw Jessi (and the rest of us) in turmoil over whether or not to go or wait.  From a place of strength and determination, and despite being terrified,  Jessi decided just to go on her own.  ….which was great except we had to figure out how to get her, and at least SOME of her stuff there. After lots of discussion, we ended up buying her a plane ticket from Boston.  We would drive her down, stay one night down there with her, put her on the plane with 2 giant checked bags, and head home.  We also used http://www.busfreighter.com to ship her a bunch of boxes through greyhound.  Cheapest option by far; fingers crossed the boxes make it there.

Since I was dealing with all of Jessi’s stuff, and my emotions surrounding said ‘stuff,’ and was sick the whole beginning of the week with either the flu or Lyme, I totally flaked on my assignments due for school this week.  I did just get one done, but it was late, so I will be marked down, and I still have one more to get done.  I hate that shit.  I am a bit of a perfectionist about grad school.

One last tackle

Add onto this that this house is a complete shambles.  Since Jessi couldn’t take everything, she had to make choices about what she really wanted to keep and what she didn’t.  Since there was no time for her to dispose of (Goodwill, trash, friends, etc.doritos), it’s all left here for me to deal with.  Also, Sean is moving into her bedroom, and we are moving all of our clothes and stuff into his old room,  so that is also a work-in-progress-disaster.
Emotionally… well… I haven’t cried yet today-even while typing all this, so, just the fact that I consider that a triumph should hint to my recent emotional state.  I miss that girl like crazy!  My movie/shopping/cooking/roadtrip/hang out buddy is 12 hours away now 😦   …in a city all alone!

All I can picture is her when she looked like this, standing in the middle of Richmond, looking like this surrounded by her bags looking lost & confused —(Which is COMPLETELY not the case, BTW!  She is killing it!)

Saturday when we got home from Boston, I allowed myself ONE NIGHT to wallow in Doritos, sour cream, and rum.    Sunday morning we ALL,  even Sean, got back to healthy eating and exercise.   It feels good to be in control and mindful of the fact that I am going to want to eat junk because I am sad, but not giving in to that feeling!  The exercise and running has helped me immensely– just like it did when I went through my divorce.  Gives me something to focus on and also gets out the yucky energy!

Sean, Luna, and I out for an early run this morning… in between the cars breaking

Challenge complete!

So I finished another 3 week challenge.  I did not finish very strong, kinda let the ole PMS derail things.  I also have been under-the-weather the past few days with either the flu or lyme disease. Fantastic.

ANYWAY….

I am still off soda.  I don’t even miss it anymore.
I am am loving water!
I am starting to actually enjoy exercise again… (well except for the past couple days)

BUT….
I went to the doctor today (see above), and got weighed.  It was bad. Really bad. Makes me feel like all these great changes have been for nothing and that sucks.  It’s not like I don’t know why though.  I have been eating a lot of shit.  That dam convenience store down the road is the bane of my existence.  Especially since I am Mrs. Eatsmyfeelings and I am having a lot of feelings to eat lately!

My plan.  Give myself a break until Jessi heads to Richmond at the end of the week, then it’s FUCKING ON!  NO more convenience store. Continuing with working out.  And eating…?? I have no idea.  Should I weight watchers again?  Should I low carb?  Should I go back to the divorce diet of blow pops and only dinner?