New trip…. New goal.

We have an exciting new trip on the very distant horizon.  We are all super excited about it!!  And then…..

WA
WA
WAAAAA

I start researching our little mini-trip adventures and one of the ones that I am most excited about has a weight limit.  And I am 50 pounds over.  That is a lot of weight to lose.  FORTUNATELY, I have eleven months to do it.  UNFORTUNATELY, based on past experience, I lack confidence that I can do this.

I took the weekend to wallow in self-pity.  Then we went for a walk in the city forest, and I realized just how out-of-shape I am, and so then I wallowed in self-pity some more.  Not quite done with the wallowing, but tomorrow I plan to SPRING out of bed and get a good walk in before work.  Putting couch25k on the back-burner for now and am just going to walk walk walk walk walk walk……..

50 pounds to go……

Hello? Anyone there?

Remember when I said that when coming back from vacation it would be hard to get back “on it.”  Holy Shit– has is ever!??

I’m a mess.

I can blame that I just started grad school.
I can blame that my work schedule has just changed.
I can blame… well… it’s winter…. it’s this… it’s that….. blah blah blah

None of those excuses are actual things that have prevented me from eating well.  None of them.  What HAS prevented me from eating well.  I don’t want to.  I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to plan.  I don’t want o grocery shop

I feel gross.  I feel bloaty and fat and my clothes feel tight.  Lonnie has gained weight too, and because he only gains weight in his belly, it shows quickly and makes him feel gross.  We need to get our shit together.  ASAP.

How do you get that driven feeling back once it disappears!!??  I don’t even want to grocery shop for the “good healthy foods” because well…. probably because part of me knows that I am just going to waste it and part of me knows that if I buy it, then I should get back on it and I DON’T WANNA!!

HOME!

Today as I slid on my jeans for work…  I was actually planning on probably having to slide them back off again because they were too tight.   NOPE!  If anything,  they were looser!  As planned,  while in Mexico,  I ate and drank everything I wanted to.  Fortunately,  that is a LOT of great fresh Mexican food!  I never really eat junk food in Mexico because it’s all just weird stuff.   Even if I am feeling snacky,  and go into a corner store,  I almost always come out empty handed because 1. I don’t know what anything is and 2. None of it looks appetizing to me. 
My downfall was traveling home.  I am VERY CAREFUL about what I eat around plane trips for fear of a repeat of the puking incident,  but once we got back in Boston …and ended up stranded there for 2 days (thank you American Airlines for losing the one bag with our car keys in it).  I must admit,  all bets were off. A combo of emotions and “let’s eat all the bad stuff before getting back on it Monday, ” led to a weekend of debauchery. 
  • There was Pirate’s Booty
  • There was a mini Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough cup
  • There were cheez its
  • There was chinese take-out
  • There was Carrabas bread and lobster ravioli (with the insides squished out because it was nasty)
  • There were egg Mcmuffins
  • And last night when we got home…  I had a “last meal” of pancakes.

My only saving grace was that it was all vending machine food,  so all small bags 😉
Back to it today.   Fought a lot of urges to make cupcakes and eat bad food because I have a nasty cold and feel like shit.   But I didn’t.  I made  delicious salad (I actually missed salad and craved it in Mexico!),  and Lonnie made a wonderful Pezole soup that was JUST what the doctor ordered for my cold.
I did have an egg Mcmuffin for breakfast because I overslept and then had to rush off to work.   But there are certainly worse things,  and I didn’t let it make me think the whole day was ruined.

Day 30!

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie

I can’t believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it’s been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed.

Things that have not changed….

  • I am still fat.  (I shouldn’t say things like that, I know…. positive self talk… blah blah blah….)
  • I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them.
  • I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all.
  • I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to
  • I still love Justin Bieber
  • And One Direction.

Things that HAVE changed….

  • I have LESS fat on my body.
  • The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it’s under.
  • I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn’t fit properply.
  • I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, but that is all I have done so far)
  • I feel confident in the weight room at the gym, even when Lonnie is not there with me
  • I LOOK FORWARD to Sunday yoga
  • I don’t crave McDonald’s anymore. Or cheez its.  Or sour patch kids.
  • We have saved probably around $200-400 dollars this month because there is no more nightlt convenience store snack run.  When I think of the shitty food and wasted money…. I almost didn’t even want to type that one out because it’s embarrassing.
  • Much less alcohol is being consumed.  We used to have a tradition of finding new wines to pair with our dinner on Wednesdays, and on weekends would have a couple drinks in the evening.  BUT, even if I have one glass of alcohol, I feel like a zombie in the morning and have to drag my ass out of bed, and I don’t need excuses to not get up and going!!  ESPECIALLY on Sunday mornings because I want to feel good for yoga!
  • My skin is better, breakouts and blemishes are basically non-existent!
  • I never have “stomach issues” anymore or wake up feeling gross
  • There have also been some weird changes that may or may not be related….
    • I get up earlier every day
    • I make my bed every day
    • I have started to enjoy folding and putting away laundry and it doesn’t just live in baskets anymore

WOW that is a big list of reasons to never stop living this way, and right now I honestly don’t even want to stop!  I feel awesome, happy, energized, and confident!!  GO ME!!