Today marks 1 month since Jessi flew the coop. Not-gonna-lie, that first week was ROUGH! There was a lot of crying, sulking, pouting, moping….. you get the idea. Since then, I have been ok, we text every day, and she is still including me in knowing stuff about her life. Less stuff. But stuff. This is what she needed, to get away from my influence, Maine, and whatever else, and to have a chance to figure out what she wants and who she is with no distractions.
So… during the day. I am fine. Yes, there are some songs that come on the radio or things I see that bring on that sting in the eyes…. but I recover quickly 😉 Being focused on house stuff, weekend adventures, and fitness, has been a huge help to avoid emotional eating or wallowing in my own self-pity.
|The last goodbye tackle|
During the day.
It’s the weirdo nighttime shit that is disconcerting. A few nights a week I have Jessi dreams where I am crying and sobbing hysterically. The other night I dreamt that she and I were driving her down to Richmond, so we stopped at the grocery store and I was buying ALL THE BAD FOOD for the road trip and sobbing as I wandered through the aisles filling my cart with Pirate’s Booty and Sour Patch Kids.
Which do I miss more? Jessi? or Junk food!? LOL
Being a mom is sadistic. You spend almost 20 years bonding and getting attached just to RIP EM OFF YA ::::insert velcro sound here:::::