Sean had a timeline project a couple weeks ago and he and I went through my blog together (my old blog and this new one) to gather photos to add to the timeline and to refresh our memories about exact dates of events. It was quite an afternoon of reminiscing, the good stuff (vacations, shooting his first deer, new puppies!), and the not-so-good stuff (deaths, divorce, moves). One thing I have mixed feelings about is my never-ending weight loss struggle. One the one hand, it’s YAY FOR ME…I never give up!! But on the other hand, I am the basically the same as I was when I started blogging in 2006, so all the diets, exercise, etc. really did…. well… nothing? Thaaaaat’s kind of depressing.
My body and my mind just feel so much better when I am sticking to a low carb diet. I feel in control of things. I don’t ever feel bloaty. I feel lighter. I don’t binge. I eat when I am hungry… and am more cognizant of when I am eating when I am NOT hungry. I think this is because it is so hard to find low carb foods to mindlessly graze/binge on. Most take preparation, and most are quite filling. I find myself in the kitchen just searching and searching through the fridge, the cabinet, the pantry, back to the fridge for “something” that I can eat… but although they are all stocked well with low carb foods, I want none of that…. a few minutes of this usually snaps me into realizing that I am not actually hungry…. I am just WANTING.
The first few days of low carbing are always rough. Yesterday was no exception. There was a lot of whining. A lot of complaining. A lot of “WHY CAN’T I JUST BE A NORMAL PERSON WHO JUST EATS NORMALLY AND DOESN’T GET GIGANTIC!????” At one point last night Lonnie finally said, “JUST GO FREAKIN’ EAT SOMETHING…. you are a mess!” (Which actually snapped me out of it and I went and made a low carb snack.)
Things that help me get through the rough beginning…
-BTDT and know it will end soon
-looking for low carb recipes
-the support of my husband who is right there in the trenches with me!
-keeping the kitchen picked up (low carb gets messy because of all the food prep, and if there is clutter everywhere, it’s too easy to say ‘Fuck this… I’m just having a peanut butter and honey sammich!”
I have also started running again and I LOVE THAT!!! It is part of why I decided it was time to get back to eating right so that I feel better and lighter and FASTER!
So while chances are good that in 2022 I will look exactly like I do today. I will keep on keepin’ on… because why the hell not!?