My friend Mindy posted a status on Christmas that just screamed “YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!” to me… “I’ve found that Christmas with teenagers is a bit different. Not bad different, just different. They will probably sleep in tomorrow instead of getting up at 5am. They are downstairs stuffing our stockings, and did their own Christmas shopping this year. Parts of me miss that giddy excitement of childhood, but the young adults they’ve become is truly amazing!”
So…my jeans felt a teensy bit tighter this morning. This does not shock me. The holidays are a freaking roller coaster of emotions since beginning this phase of my life. I feel elated one minute, quiet and content the next, and sobbing about ‘what was’ ten minutes later. I HATE feeling sad over the holidays because I have SO MUCH to be grateful for that I feel like I have no right to feel that way. So then I feel guilty for feeling sad, and then it’s just a big ole mess 😉
I definitely ate when I was not hungry over the past week. I definitely ate to fill the hole of my mother’s flight’s getting cancelled… my kids not being the sweet-excited-for-santa babies that they once were… my yearly worry that I didn’t buy “enough” for people– or that I forgot someone. I tried to take care of myself in other ways (bubble baths, cooking, extra snuggles, talking…. ), because I knew I was a mess, but sometimes… ya just gotta eat it. 😉
That all said… Christmas was wonderful. A perfect mix of quiet time with Lonnie and loud time 😉 with the family. Tim and Kristie and the babies came over on Christmas Eve and it was so nice and fun to have people over and cook for everyone. I love spending time with Tim and Kristie and their kids!! Being way out in Winterport, we don’t entertain much because who wants to drive all the way out there?
My “new normal” is pretty freakin’ awesome!! I just have to remind myself now and then of that, because Christmases in my previous life were pretty freakin’ awesome too! 😉