Taboo subject alert: We have had several discussions about re-homing Piper over the past couple years. In fact, a few weeks ago we even began to put out feelers for amazing humans living in amazing… More
Blissful staycation. Even taking into consideration ripping my big toenail half off and having to bow out of my 3k race tomorrow. Fortunately, as of today, it doesn’t really hurt anymore, and it’s oozing (ewwwww, I know) much, much less!
We’ve had a perfect balance of laziness and getting stuff done.
I got and planted some more plants.
Did some painting and decorating.
Cooked up a storm. Several, actually.
And this weekend, Jessi is coming to visit! I’m going to terrify myself with some dinos on a giant Imax screen. AND I’m going to terrify everyone else when I try my hand at homemade kimchi!
Here’s a link to one of the delicious recipes I made this week! (I didn’t shape it into a volcano. We were out of eggs. And I added some pork)
I have ALWAYS been a magnet for shenanigans, and even though the results are often a disaster, I LOVE IT!! I started my morning today by forgetting to put my cup under the Kuerig and coating my kitchen counter and floors with a delicious coating of Island Coconut coffee. And then burned myself wiping it up with a paper towel because somehow it didn’t occur to me that the coffee would still be hot.
After a successful second attempt at coffee, I sipped and thought about plans for my solo day of leisure. Full disclosure: I am a lazy ass bitch that can spend an entire day on the couch watching Youtube/Netflix/Hulu with no guilt whatsoever. But TODAY I decided to take my lazy ass to the lake with the pups.
Me to myself: “I’ll have a nice quiet day at the lake. I’ll take a swim if it’s warm enough, set up the hammock, and then read all afternoon. I am so outdoorsy. They Call me…. um…. shit— who is an outdoorsy person….. BEAR GYRLLS!!!” (HA See what I did there!? I crack myself up!)
Our adventure started with Piper spotting a couple new friends and yanking the leash– almost taking my middle finger with it. So that finger is black, purple, red, blue… and nice n’ fat now. And it hurts to type. Then I had to socialize with strangers because the dogs were having fun. I am 51% introvert. I was not thrilled.
Our new friends said their goodbyes so I finally got my swim. It WAS warm enough and it was lovely. A giant Bald Eagle was circling around the lake the whole time and if you know me, you know I love that shit!
Then I set up the hammock. Let’s not talk about how long it took me to get it set up the way I wanted it; aka with my ass NOT on the ground. You have to put those straps up on the tree REALLY HIGH!!! You also need TWO carabiners, not 1. WHO KNEW!!?? (Lonnie. Lonnie knew. Hence why I’ve never done it before.)
Then let’s not talk about me reading a HALF page of my book when suddenly Piper’s head comes over the edge of the hammock, dropping something into the hammock with me. I notice a stench while I contort myself to find what she dropped in there because it went under me somewhere, and it’s A DEAD FISH HEAD. Fun fact: It is impossible to quickly launch yourself out of parachute hammocks even when you feel like your life depends on it. It’s cool. I didn’t really feel like reading anyway……
It wasn’t the only fish head. The next half hour was me trying to make the dogs ignore the fish carnage, swimming with them again just to get them rinsed off because they rolled in it, and then deciding I’d had enough fun at the lake for one day.
Next time, those bitches are staying home!!
Who am I kidding?
It’s about to get weird up in here.
Thursday night my father visited me in a dream. Oddly enough, I have been waiting for this to happen since he died, and have been slightly (irrationally) annoyed that he hadn’t done it yet like my grandfather did the night he died (You can read about that here).
As we know, there were some “issues” between us when my dad died that caused me to sadness, anger, and confusion because our relationship had actually been great the past few years. I even answered the phone when he called every week or so and didn’t let it go to voicemail and then Facebook message him later on as I have been known to do…..
His refusal to let me visit when he was dying has run through my mind on a fairly regular basis. However, only over the past several weeks have I been able to lose the anger, and even the sadness, about it and realize those couple weeks are irrelevant to the past several YEARS.
Thursday night we stood talking in front of a fireplace (in a house/apt I’ve never been in or seen before) and he said something (I can’t remember what), causing me to say, “Dad, you know you died months ago, right?” He paused, thinking for a minute, and said, “Well, I guess that makes sense.” Then I told him what happened between us at the end and he genuinely appeared to remember any of it and seemed disappointed in himself, saying something to the effect of, ‘wow… I wonder why I would do that?’
Those last couple weeks, he was confused and disoriented most of the time, often unable to answer simple questions or recognize people he knew. So it would make sense if he didn’t remember events that took place during that period of time.
The rest of our visit was just. so. normal. We chatted like always and he was just my Dad.
The only thing nagging at me is when I said, “So… Do you like this new place?” he said, “Not particularly.” He did move right before he went into the hospital, and he wasn’t happy about it, so I hope that’s where my brain got that footage.
Yes, my brain. Because while I felt the realness of him there and the difference between that experience and my other nightly dreams. I also realize our minds are incredibly powerful and my dream could have been ‘just a dream.’
Frankly, It doesn’t matter which it was.
I’ve been using the “Lose it!” app for 6 days and as of this morning, I am back to myfitnesspal*. The Lose It (LI) app is SO CUTE! I LOVE the interface and it seems a little easier to add foods because there aren’t so many choices like in myfitnesspal (MFP) (For example, when you type ‘chicken thighs’ into MFP, you get about 456,402 options with calories ranging from 7 to 7294 :::a SMALL exaggeration:::). BUT….
- I got VERY sick of the ‘This is a premium feature so you should give us money if you want to do that!’ messages. For things even like adding food to the following day– which they call “Meal Planning,” which is a “premium feature.”
- Lose it! claimed to sync with Google fitness (or whatever its called–should just be ‘big brother is watching everything you do’), but it didn’t.
- Because I’ve used MFP for so many years, it knows me. Which is an unfair advantage, but still an advantage because all my favorite foods and exercises are already there.
- I miss my friends!! I do well with knowing others can see what I am doing and also just seeing that people I know are using the app too keeps me motivated. Basically, everyone has tried myfitnesspal at some point, so even when their accounts are currently not in use, it still shows a buncha peeps on my list that could be watching. And I like that.
myfitnesspal wins because you get way more for way less aka FREE!
*Note: myfitnesspal is lowercase intentionally (see photo 😉 )
My shower curtain was VERY handsy this morning. And let’s just say I appreciate the gesture after recently discovering I’ve gained FIFTEEN POUNDS since March. What the actual fuck? I’m not stupid; I know my clothes are tighter and that I have been eating a lot of shitty food and exercising less, but DAYUM! I was in some DEEEEEE-NIAL about how off-the-rails I’ve been. I have a multitude of excuses but gather ’em all up in a jar along with a nickel and you still won’t be able to buy……. um…. a thing that costs more than a nickel….?
BACK ON THE RAILS!
Lonnie and I are BACK ON IT! He has forbidden the use of the word “diet,” preferring the in-my-opinion-much-overused-these-days, “lifestyle change.” But let’s be real. If it walks like a diet, and quacks like a diet, it’s a fucking diet.
So I’ve got the Lose It app loaded. (Felt like a fresh start –so trying this instead of Myfitnesspal)
We’ve got the fridge STOCKED with healthy food.
LET’S DO THIS THING (Forever… you know… because it’s a LIFESTYLE CHANGE AND NOT A DIET!
- I was nervous and scared beforehand than I expected.
- I had no idea my throat would hurt so much from the intubation (but it turned out I also had a cold/flu thing so maybe that isn’t always quite so rough).
- My lower stomach area was painful for 2 days and then just “weird” feeling– almost felt like something was in there that shouldn’t have been, and was considering pulling an “Alien”– for about a week after and still feels slightly uncomfortable today– a week later, because when I sit, all my pants dig into the very spot where they went in with the …tools?
- I still haven’t jogged or exercised in any way AND THAT’S OK! (Planning on it for tomorrow though. I think I’m ready!)